wrote, “The worst mistake anyone can make is
to perceive anyone else as lesser.”
ZOOM: What advice to you give to parents and
other autistic individuals?
Lois: I too find authentic and driven people fascinating and attractive. We highlight folks who
are excited about what they do. Barb is the pattern connoisseur, but even I notice – across the
board, these people are internally motivated and
have optimistic mindsets.
That is not to
say that they
don’t feel pain,
fear or depression, but they
make the best
out of situations and drive
on. Perhaps
what inspires
me the most is how generous these great people
are with what they have learned.
Barb: Getting my book is a good start. If you
can’t afford a book, my court will provide one
for you.
Lois: I am learning that “Experts Become Experts by Listening.”
(I stole that line from
Jess Wilson’s Diary of a
Mom blog.) Listen for
strengths, and then build
on those. For example, I
learned that Barb has a
powerful imagination.
That is a gift. Imagination is the first step in
solving every problem.
So, Barb makes a terrific business partner. I am more likely to get bit,
but I am also more likely to receive thoroughly
considered possibilities and her brutally honest
opinion.
“Listen for
strengths, and then
build on those.” ~ Lois
-----
Lois: That is funny. And Barb just told me that.
I do remember when I was still at the University and working with Barb in my extra time
that I started a “radio show ideas” file. Then
last August, I was pulling out of the neighborhood, driving Eli to school, and seemingly out
of nowhere, I said, “I am going to have a radio
show.” Eli and I both laughed at the apparent
delusion of grandeur. A couple of weeks later,
XXX Radio contacted my office to see if I was
interested in having a radio show. (I know that
sounds pornographic, but I am really just trying
to redact their name. However, if I were going
to do porno, radio would probably be the best
format for me.) I ran the not-porno opportunity
by Barb, and she was enthusiastic. We thought
about what to call it and laughed crazily right
away. Simultaneously, Barb typed and I said,
“LOUD MUTE RADIO!” The radio production
company liked our ideas and sent us a contract
proposal. When we saw that the lion’s share of
the ad revenue would go to XXX, we figured
we better get a second opinion, so we asked our
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ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses
publicists, Jennifer Ho Dougatz, who co-owns
Hangar Studios in NYC with her husband. Jen
lit up and exclaimed that her hubby, Chad
Dougatz, was JUST starting a podcast and radio
production service. We knew and adored Chad
from recording the audiobook. Chad sent us a
counter proposal, and now Mule and Muse Productions owns LOUD MUTE RADIO, produced
by Hangar Studios.
ZOOM: You have done quite a few radio shows,
covering a wide variety of topics –depression,
sexuality, financial planning, finding your purpose and everything in between. What have you
learned about yourselves, or autism, or life in
general from interviewing all these great people?
Barb: I learned that SS’s voice gets shaky when
talking to famous people. I thought about firing
her on the Andrew Solomon show, but he was
so gracious and warm, she eventually got it together. I admire authenticity and perseverance.
Famous for a reason, Dr. Andrew Solomon
Conner: What or who is your biggest influence
in life?
Barb: My parents. Smother and DD are my set.
One could not ask for a more sagacious or supportive board of trustees.
Lois: My strong, strong wife. Ty’s unwavering
support frees me to be as bold as I dare. I can’t
imagine a more fun, passionate, and supportive
marriage. And I dreamed all my life of being
a mom. My son, Eli (now 15), balances me (his
prefrontal cortex works better than mine). Eli
consistently motivates me to give my best. I
try never to take these unprecedented loves for
granted. Barb and I clearly enjoy working with
each other and our families.
Barb: Plus, nepotism is cost-effective.
Lois, her wife Ty and her 15-year-old son Eli.
Lois: Yes, you will hear Smother, Jerry, Eli, and
Ty on many shows. A show featuring Barb’s dad
is in the works.
ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses
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