I am an autistic woman . I ’ ve also been working in the autism community for over seven years now . I ’ ve worked with people from every corner of the spectrum , and I ’ ve seen autism from many angles . Despite the unfortunate and often explosive philosophical divide between autistic advocates of neurodiversity and nonautistic pro-cure caregivers , I ’ ve noticed an attitude that unites nearly all of us in the autism world : the disabling aspects of autism are directly tied to culture and expectations .
Sometimes I find that parents will react to this idea defensively , saying that this only applies to the “ high functioning ” among us . But for every parent who reacts with despair , I meet another who muses that potty training her nearly adult son with sensory and motor issues would be much easier if the family had a Japanese squat toilet .
Personally , I believe that many of the disabling aspects of autism are related to context .
Autistic people often talk about feeling like they were born on the “ wrong planet .” Not only do we have the unifying experience of feeling like cultural outsiders , but we intuitively follow our own cultural rules .
Of course , there are infinite reasons why social communication is difficult for autistic people ( motor processing issues , for example ). Also , in certain ways , connecting and maintaining relationships with fellow autistics can be even harder , and reaching out to others at all is a complex topic in and of itself . But there ’ s a reason why autistic people actively seek to create “ safe spaces ”— like ANI ’ s Autreat — where we can be our own autistic selves , comfortably blending with an autistic majority .
Once upon a time , when I was dating a nonautistic man , I remember he had a lot of trouble feeling comfortable hanging out with me and my mother . The first time he met her , he said to
For example , a hallmark of the autism spectrum is impaired social communication , yet many of these social difficulties don ’ t cause the same problems when autistic people are socializing with each other . Things like autistic conversation style , topic choice , and nonverbal communication can seem strange and even alienating to nonautistics but feel perfectly fine to other autistic people .
This is because the natural result of autistic traits creating a distinct style of communication is a uniquely autistic culture .
I first heard the analogy for culture as applied to autism from Dr . Stephen M . Shore . He said the reason he feels he and his wife understood each other so well when they first met is that they both knew what it felt like to be cultural outsiders — he being on the autism spectrum , and her having just immigrated from China .
Photos of Kirsten ’ s drawings throughout this article have been provided and shared with permission by Kirsten Lindsmith . For more of her artwork visit her website .
ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses 23