Brown Bettie Knows Best
~I may not be funny, but I sure know what is.
It’s funny how sometimes you find yourself in a situation
where you have to simply let go so that you can be
whole again.
When I moved to New York from Chicago in my late
twenties, I wanted to shed the identifying labels with
which I’d been lovingly bestowed: I was “Megan’s
roommate” or I was “The Chicago Luvabull” or I was
“The Track Star”. I often found myself wanting to shout,
“Hey, I’m Peppur! I’m more than those things”.
Perhaps back then my voice may not have been loud
enough to speak up for myself; perhaps I didn’t know
myself fully in order to do so. Or, there’s this: sometimes
people want to see you as they see you and either
you have to show them something different or you
simply have to move on.
Back then, I wanted to jump into the swift stream that
was New York City and swim with many different fish,
become influenced by them and move within a
different type of swirl. So I did. I allowed myself to dive
in and swim in deep, cold, unfamiliar waters or coast
along the top of warm clear water; always moving,
moving, moving with the rushing current. I was swept
up into something that sometimes was me and
sometimes wasn’t.
After five years of being swept away in New York, I felt
a shift again. While swimming with all sorts of fish in all
types and depths of water, I’d accumulated floaters
full of information and developed a new sense of self.
By the time I moved to Los Angeles, I wanted to walk
on water and feel as though all that I’d learned in
New York would buoy me to greatness; sort of like
skiing on floating suitcases of my knowledge. I was in
my thirties and I wanted to skip and fly on the water.
To be above water. Living.
I’ve now been in Los Angeles for ten years. I haven’t
always managed to stay above water. There has
been sinking; there has been drowning; there has
been being knocked over by tidal waves. And, at
times, of course, there has been frolicking on the
beach under warming and baking rays of the
replenishing sun.
I’m in my forties now. I’m writing this contemplative
missive from Prague. I’ve been in Europe on a workcation for a little over a month. The other day I was
telling a friend I feel like this experience, or at least what
I want from this experience and being in Europe, is
something similar to needing a baptism. I want to be
washed of routine thoughts and actions that have
become habits; I want to accept something new that
will unlock inner strengths, talents and thought
processes that will expose a deeper, more meaningful
me; I want to be touched by an angel, which at this
point, will need to be my inner light.
I’m ready to come to the water. I’m ready for the
rebirth. I’m ready because I think I’m finally learning,
and I hope that you are too, that as we drift and sail
through the open waters of life, that sometimes we
have to become our own beacon, and simply shine.
Peppur (www.peppurchambers.com) is an actor, writer
and creator/performer of Harlem’s Night Cabaret
performed by the sultry, sassy, sophisticated and
sometimes funny, Brown Betties. Her debut novel,
“Harlem’s
Awakening”
is
now
available
on
BlackHillPress.com. She’s also created the awardwinning webseries, “The Brown Betties Guide: How to
Look for Love In All The Wrong Places” based on her
book of the same title. www.brownbetties.com Email
her at [email protected] or follow her on
Twitter @BrownBettie. But really, go buy Harlem’s
Awakening!