The teacher smiled slightly. I understand he feels
pleased I asked. I let myself get carried away by the
story of his life. And what a life. He is much more
than a teacher. He is teaching for a living, but in
reality or maybe the opposite… whatever - what
makes his heart beat is acting. In fact, this man is an
actor. I looked at him with amusement and suspicion.
He even confesses he has a supporting role in The
Lion King musical. It reminds me of the time I was a
teenager, watching the show in Broadway with my
parents and my sister. It was magical.
I have some hot flashes and feel uncomfortable on my
chair. This idea sounds impossible, but I know that
the teacher is right. There is no excuse for not doing
what I have always dreamed about. Parents, friends,
time, money.
End of my first lesson.
After he left, I couldn’t help but think about my own
revelation. I can’t share this idea with anybody but
him. So when the second course comes I am very
excited. I use the English language to talk to him in
order to improve my sales speech of course. I hasten
to tell him the biggest issue is my legitimacy. How to
become an actress without having been an actress…
ever? To him, this is not an obstacle. No need to prove
who I am and what I want to do to. It is only a matter
of trust.
When I realized that my mouth had remained wide
open for few minutes, I tell him: “That is kind of a
dream”.
The teacher who is not a politician either, answered
with a question: “And you, what is your dream?”
Without thinking, like it was obvious, I immediately
answer:
So, first of all, after a life (did I say a lie?) of
considering only others as artists and five years as a
business woman in the advertising World, I need to
have no doubt that I am an actress. Then people will
believe it. It sounds like a long road and a lot of
courage. I don’t know if I can make it, but somehow I
am excited and it seems already too late to make a uturn.
“Oh, I always wanted to be an actress”.
Short silence.
“So, why don’t you be an actress?” the teacher-actor
or actor-teacher asked me.
I laugh. I laugh so loud that some people in the open
space look at me frowning. Next to me, the teacher
doesn’t laugh at all. He firmly fixes me with his gaze.
That makes me calm down. I feel some anger that I
hide with a bit of humor and ask him what he
suggests I tell my parents who did their best to offer
me the promise of a good future. My job in this
agency was a part of the result. And above all, they
have never heard the word “actress” coming out of my
mouth. Never.
The teacher heard about a coach working on the
awareness and trust of being an actor. He will
probably never apply this advice to himself, but he
recommends me to send him an email and ask him to
have coffee. To me, it seems to be obvious and easy to
do. I promise to do it right after our lesson.
Back to my office, the urgency of my projects quickly
landed me in the rush of my humdrum activities. I
don’t even notice as a week passes. For my third
lesson, the teacher asks me if I have sent my email to
the coach. I explain to him the amount of work I have
to do. He doesn’t seem to listen and asks me if I know
what we call this? I am surprised. He answers: “An
excuse”. I feel sheepish. I promise I will not go back
home tonight without sending this email.
The teacher still doesn’t move a hair. I realize this was
not a joke. He is looking at me seriously as if I was
talking about something completely stupid. His
answer should have been “come on”, but he was too
polite for that..
98
THE CONE - ISSUE #7 - FALL 2015