Synaesthesia Magazine Hush-Hush | Page 33

Illustration Nicholas Coad I Nick Coad is a tattoo artist from Fife, Scotland. His main influences include new school tattoo and comic art. n my phone, under the entry labeled SARGE, was a phone number I had never called. A woman answered. “Hello.” She had a rasp, a deepness in her tone. “I’m looking for Sarge,” I said. She didn’t immediately say anything. “He says he knows a place.” When she still didn’t answer, I added, “A place where I can be safe.” “What’s your name?” She said it slowly, like maybe she was just curious and afterward I wondered if she’d heard of me, like I was famous somewhere. After I told her she drew in her breath, then rattled off an address in Maine and hung up. I checked the map. I went to the library and read bus tables and train times. I figured I could get there by taking four different buses over three days. My last night in Vermont, when Bodi called, I told him I loved him. Before I left, I cashed out my bank account at a major national institution, which my parents had opened for me when I was five. Everything suddenly felt vulnerable and nothing seemed to be mine unless I carried it with me. Whatever I owned in Brooklyn had become unimportant. Just clothes and books. Unnecessary, replaceable. At a sporting goods store, I bought a backpack and water bottle, some energy bars, shirts in a variety of layers and warmth, a jacket, socks, and a hat. At the local Goodwill, I found a couple pair of corduroys and a couple of paperbacks. A final stop at the local drugstore added a 12-pack of underwear and some toiletries to the mix, mostly extra cleaner for my contact lenses and a stick of deodorant. In the handbag I’d brought with me from Brooklyn I had my phone and charger, wallet, house keys, The House of Mirth, and my journal. That seemed like enough. That seemed like more than enough.