Stop Suffering ISSUE026 | Page 10

Learning to smile after years of tears I grew up in a home where alcohol was all around me, and as my family intoxicated themselves, words would fly across the room causing arguments and unnecessary fights. I heard things no teenager should ever hear. As time passed by, I began to develop deep complexes and insecurities that took their toll on my behaviour and conduct at school. I would compare myself daily to friends and wonder why I didn’t have a normal family like them. Sooner than later, I became very bitter and rebellious towards everyone, especially against my own mother. A deep hatred found itself in my heart to the point I couldn’t stand her voice and her presence. If you think that I had a father figure, then you’re wrong; he left when I was 5 and I only held my mother to blame. My life felt like a cycle, and when the day was coming to an end, the angry, rebellious girl everyone knew would hysterically cry with anguish and pain. “I just want to be happy… Is that too much to ask for?” I shouted. But as the sun rose, so did my facade take its place. Drinking and smoking were something normal for me, but I had the shock of my life when I realised I failed all my exams. I ran to the toilet and once again the tears ran down my face. The embarrassment really hit home when I couldn’t get in to college. That night there was no screaming or shouting. I only cried myself to sleep, hoping that it was all a dream. I hoped to STOP SUFFERING|10 say things got better from here, but the truth was that I sank into depression and went to all different kinds of counselling sessions. At the age of 16, I was officially diagnosed with depression… what else would go wrong in my life? To my surprise, I accepted the invitation from my aunt to attend the UCKG Help Centre. I received hope that my future could actually be different. I spoke to the advisers, who encouraged me and gave me practical steps to turn things around. I had finally found people who understood what I was going through and believed in me. I attended the daily sessions, and in a short period of time, my doctor said I didn’t need to take the antidepressants anymore. Today my life has a whole different meaning. I am a new person; I am stronger to face the problems and difficulties that may come my way. Leanne N.