A One-derful Life with Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.
contributing writer
Fashionably Single
I love fashion. To me, “fashion” is a term that represents the best face that can be presented. “Home fashion”
depicts current decorating and design trends. “Fall fashion” tells us what’s hot (and what’s not) to wear.
In a small, Southern town, a single gal can feel like a fashion faux pas. It feels like “everybody” is married
(they aren’t), and you’re the only one who is alone (you’re not). How can you feel like you’re “in fashion” when
your life seems so different from the people around you?
Here is your Fall 2014 Guide to Being Fashionably Single:
• Get An Attitude. A positive one. Nobody wants to hear how hard it is to be single. Your married friends either
don’t get it, or they’re jealous of your freedom (ask them if you don’t believe me). You need to have one or two
close friends with whom you can share your struggles, but try not to burn them out with your negativity. Otherwise,
make it a point to not say anything negative about being single. You’ll find you feel better. I have had countless people stop me and tell me stories of a person they know who is bitter about singleness. The common denominator:
they are tired of hearing it and don’t want to set her (or him) up with anyone because they’re so negative! If you stay
positive, you will stand out among other singles, which may help you get what you want: a date!
• Be Confident. You don’t have to feel confident, but act confident. One way I’ve heard it is, “fake it ‘til you
make it.” Look at those fashion models – they strut down the runway even when they topple off their 6-inch
heels. You have to wear singleness like a light garment – not a heavy blanket. Men will tell you that confidence
is one of the sexiest accessories a woman can wear.
• Use What You Have. The disheveled look is sometimes in vogue, but being unorganized is never pretty. I
believe that if you take care of what you have, you are demonstrating to God that you are ready to handle more.
Look at the state of your environment: is your car tidy, or is it cluttered with papers, food wrappers, broken umbrellas, and other trash? Imagine that you are in a parking lot or at the side of the road with car trouble and a
nice, single man pulls over to help you. Or, you’ve had a first date with someone and he walks you to your car.
When he peeks into the window, will he see a mess and think maybe you’re not so “together?” Will he see a clean
interior? How about your home? You may not live in an expensive house. In fact, maybe you don’t even own a
home – perhaps you live in an apartment. The point isn’t the scale of your dwelling, the important thing is how
do you live? Is your home tidy and clean? Are things put away? Can you find them? Men notice these details! Furthermore, if you don’t think you deserve to live in a clean place, how are you going to attract a mate who thinks
you deserve the best?
• Reflect What You Want. I used to have a wallet that had sentimental value to me. It was a gift, and over
the years it had fallen apart to the point where I used a rubber band to hold it together. One day, I asked myself,
“is this the wallet of a prosperous, successful woman?” (No, it wasn’t.) You don’t have to have a $500 designer
wallet, but is the wallet you have in good repair? Is it neat and organized? Why is this important? It’s important
because when you don’t respect your money, why should the Lord give you more? When you’re digging around
in your messy handbag, looking for your 99-cent pen with no cap, do you look like someone who can handle a
promotion? One of the standard pieces of advice we give to young professionals is to “dress for the job you want,
not the job you have.” Likewise, if you want better things and situations in your life, demonstrate to yourself, the
Universe, and others that you deserve them. I’m not telling you to go out and buy expensive things that you can’t
afford, but do the best you can NOW with what you have. It doesn’t cost anything to organize your handbag!
• Inventory Your Associations. Every year, you go through your closet or your kids’ closets and you weed out
the clothes that don’t fit or are in poor repair. Do the same with your friends, the organizations you are part of,
and your relationships. Just because you’ve been in a group for 5 years, doesn’t mean you should continue. Are
your relationships helping you today? Are they helping you be the woman you want to be? If not, let them go and
make room for better things in your life.
I’d love to wear Chanel suits and carry Hermes bags; sadly, these items are not part of my lifestyle. I’ve learned
to create a fashionable look using inexpensive accessories and clothes from the clearance rack! In the same way,
you may prefer to be in a relationship, but if you’re single, you can be the best single you possible! You may even
find that your One-derful single life actually attracts that special someone. Even if it doesn’t, you can still be
fashionably and One-derfully single!
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September 2014
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