A One-Derful Life with Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A. contributing writer
when Nothing Goes Right
We’ve all had days where it felt like things weren’t going our way. Sometimes, we
take those days and string them together to form a week, or even months.
It can be deeply frustrating when you’re doing the right thing, but you’re not getting results. In weight loss, the dreaded “plateau” occurs when your healthy eating and
diligent exercise bring you to a point where your body no longer responds and you stop
losing weight. You’re doing the right things, but you’re not seeing results.
Sometimes a plateau is just a slowdown. You can eat right and exercise,
see no movement on the scale for three weeks, then suddenly you lose two
pounds. There are changes occurring, but they’re so small that you cannot
perceive them. You go on 15 sales calls and nobody wants to buy, then two
weeks later, eight new orders come in. During a plateau, we normally have the
opportunity to practice patience, and patience is an
excruciating trait to develop because we live in a world that
values and delivers instantaneous results.
If you’ve had a season (whether one day or several years) where it seems like you’ve hit a
plateau – whether in relationships, finances, career, health, or anything else – here are some ideas to
help you cope until things start moving again:
1) This is what is supposed to be happening. Thought leader Marie Forleo suggests that we respond
to life’s curve balls by saying, “And this is exactly what I wanted.” Personally, I cannot say that with
any authenticity, but I do say, “And this is exactly what was supposed to happen.” If it happened, it
happened, so railing against the reality of “it” happening won’t make “it” un-happen. Which leads
me to…
2) Don’t try to figure out “why.” I HATE IT when people say, “Everything happens for a reason.” No, it
doesn’t. Can we learn from any experience? Yes, but bad things happen because that is life. We want
to believe “everything happens for a reason” because then we can parse some sense of control out
of things we don’t like. Please don’t ever tell someone who has lost a child that “it happened for a
reason.” Now, if you’ve gained 50 pounds in four weeks, you may want to ask why, but many times
in life the answer is going to be, “Because.” Learn to discern the difference between what you can
control and what you can’t. If you can do something, do it. Otherwise, you’re going to need to get
comfortable with the idea of acceptance.
3) Be persistent and consistent in doing the right thing. Not asking why doesn’t mean you have to
just sit around. Keep doing the right thing, and be consistent and persistent. You’re not going to see
a fitness model physique after three workouts. You’re not going to lose 20 pounds if you eat right for
two days. If you’re not seeing results, but you know you are doing the right thing, you have to keep at
it. It’s like that weight loss example: all of a sudden, you see the results, but if you start wallowing in
cheesecake, those results will never come (trust me).
4) Abandon the fast food mentality. We have been conditioned to expect fast results. Microwaves,
text messages, electronic payments, Amazon Prime, and dry shampoo have trained us to believe we
can get what we want, when we want it. Unfortunately, the Universe does not work like that. You may
have heard one of my favorite sayings, “God is never late, but He’s usually not early, either.” Haven’t
you noticed that God’s timetable is rarely as fast as ours? Every day for my snack, I eat an apple.
I wondered if I could grow my own apples, and it turns out that if I planted an apple tree from seed,
it would be two to five years before I’d see any fruit. Five years! And between now and then, I would
have to consistently and persistently care for that tree. Sometimes when YOU aren’t seeing results,
it’s because God is behind the scenes, working out everything for YOUR highest good.
5) Find joy in the process. Meanwhile, you had better figure out how to enjoy the trip. One time, I was
flying to Paris and a delayed flight stranded me in Atlanta. I knew I had a choice: be upset or enjoy
myself. I chose to enjoy myself because there are enough times where I don’t recognize that I have a
choice; so, if I can choose happiness, I will. When I go to see my doctor, I know I’m going to wait. I bring
a book to read or work to do and use that waiting time as time to lose myself in a story or to catch up
on grading. That way, I appreciate – rather than resent – the waiting time.
You’re going to have times where you have to wait on things in your life. Are you going to choose
to wait in misery or will you choose to make that wait more pleasant for yourself? Because you do
have a choice. If you need help with making your life more pleasant and One-Derful, check out www.
One-DerfulLife.com - you can see videos, check out my weekly blog, and get some FREE gifts. I’d love
to connect with you there!
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JULY 2016
SHEMAGAZINE.COM