Heather Willingham contributing writer
Seasons of Grace : a love letter
“ Give yourself grace . Grace to mess up , to be imperfect , to laugh , cry , scream , and dance . Love yourself and your imperfections , and be thankful that Your imperfections are what make you , you !” to the mom in Target who is struggling to keep her kids from running down every aisle as she is also trying to keep the toddler from climbing out of the shopping cart , all while trying to keep whatever sense of dignity she has left intact — I see you , and I love you . To the daughter who is watching her aging parents fall sick with a disease that takes their minds — I ’ m so sorry , and I love you . I see you , college-age young lady . I understand that you ’ re stressed about your future career , sky-high college debt , and all of the other major life choices you ’ re supposed to make . I want you to know that someone cares about you and loves you .
In our tech-savvy and modern-day way of living , being a young woman is more challenging than it was several years ago . Social media , selfies , blogs , and television portray this false sense of reality , and as women , we are constantly trying to reach a standard of perfection that isn ’ t even real . Because of this , we find ourselves feeling like we have failed , and we feel inadequate and empty . It ’ s crazy how we have so much noise around us and are constantly talking to people on the internet , but we feel alone . Anytime we can scroll through our electronic devices and see how all the other women live , how they are as moms , and how great their marriages are , we set ourselves up for failure . The latest “ Need to Read ” blog post is telling you , “ Five Things Every Woman Must Do in Their Thirties .” This depresses you because there is no way you can afford any of those things on that list , so now your life is over . The problem is that we live in a time where we are too busy , over-saturated with Hollywood , and addicted to social media . We are too busy presenting a persona to others , but what we really want and need is true intimacy . As mothers , we feel like we have to always have everything together . Like every second . Of every day . We put pressure on ourselves to be Pinterest-worthy mothers and to have perfect marriages , and it ’ s impossible . As a mother with boys whose ages are six and one , I totally understand that as women , we all give and give , and we let ourselves feel overworked and under-loved . I know that your house can be so busy , loud , and full of people , but YOU feel lonely and alone . You think that no one understands how you feel , and you wonder if you ’ re silly for thinking this way . Maybe you aren ’ t married , but you are a single woman enjoying your career that you worked so hard to get . You pour yourself into your work because your career is important to you . Why shouldn ’ t it be ? You studied endlessly to get your undergrad , and then your master ’ s with dreams of another , or maybe even your doctorate . Even though you are successful at work and your life is good , there are times when you feel like you ’ re not enough .
Wherever you are in your life ’ s journey , my letter is for you . Give yourself grace — grace to mess up , to be imperfect , to laugh , to cry , to scream , and to dance . Love yourself and your imperfections , and be thankful that your imperfections are what make you , you ! When I find myself feeling inadequate and unworthy in my own life , I look at my boys , and I remember how much they love me , and right now I am their entire world . They don ’ t need the latest and greatest toy or the coolest birthday party to feel loved by me . The only thing my boys need from me is me . When I remind myself of this , it calms me because I know I am a good mother , and all of the other things don ’ t matter . When you begin to start feeling imperfect , find something of which you are proud , and hold on to it . Feel encouraged by it . As I end my letter , remember that I love you . I know that being a woman , friend , wife , mother , and daughter is hard . I love you because you are a beautiful woman , and that is good enough for me . Most importantly , there is a Heavenly Father that loves you more than anyone can or will . You are His daughter , and that makes you a Princess . He can take our messes and turn them into something extraordinary .
60 FEBRUARY 2017 SHEMAGAZINE . COM