Moving
in later life
– should you or shouldn’t you –
things to consider
Moving can be a stressful time for anyone
but have you ever considered what it
might mean if you have to move later in
life? I had not given it a thought until I
was talking to a couple of clients in their
80s who are seriously thinking about
selling up and buying another property.
I met Derrick and Elma in their lovely
five-bedroom house in Lewes surrounded
by the most beautiful gardens with farreaching, gorgeous views to die for that
overlook the Ouse Valley and beyond. So,
why would they want to move you might
be asking.
There are many good reasons for moving
but there can be just as many worries
about staying put. You may wonder if the
advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
When you’re younger, you can generally
overcome things more easily but when
you’re in your 80s it’s a totally different
ball game.
Their property holds some wonderful
memories for them. When they first
bought the house, they were an excited
couple looking forward to their future in
this forever home. They told me that they
24
have had some wonderful, joyful times
there along with their children.
While living in the house, Derrick lost his
mother and after a while his father moved
in with them. Then Elma’s mother and
father needed looking after and it was
decided that an extension on the house
would be the best solution so that all
three parents could live with them.
Elma made me laugh when she said it was
like running an old people’s home. They all
enjoyed each other’s company and for their
children having their grandparents around
them added to the lovely memories of their
home, she told me.
The obvious reasons for moving from
the house now are that it’s too large for
them and maintaining the upkeep of the
property, gardens and keeping the house
in order is a struggle.
Elma’s ill-health has forced her to live
downstairs in the extension they had
built for their parents. Fortunately Derrick
remains in good health and active. They
had a stair lift installed but Elma can no
longer use this. The house is up high
and with around 21 steep front steps to
climb, you can imagine how difficult it is
for her, and no doubt there will come a
time when Derrick won’t be able to use
them either.
They have considered alterations to the
property but this comes at a great cost,
so sadly Elma can no longer get out and
about and is confined to the house. They
have looked into all sorts of ways to adapt
the house but I guess there are only so
many alternations you can do or afford.
Moving is surely the sensible thing to do
but they feel they may have left it all too
late. It makes you think about what age
you should move once your children have
left home and whether you actually need
the room anymore.
The love of a home can far outweigh
the need to move, however. The saying
‘Don’t put off what you can do today
as tomorrow may not come’ has great
meaning in this respect. The years roll
by, you get older and before you know it,
the need to move becomes a necessity
rather than a want. The heart can rule the
head, I suppose.
So when is it right - in your 50s, 60s or
70s? Surely it all comes down to your
health and what your needs might be
at different stages in your life. Moving is
stressful enough, whatever age you are.
It’s not just about the move it’s preparing
for the upheaval of it all, clearing out
the loft, the garage and a multitude of
other things. Throwing your treasured
possessions out can be painful but
perhaps giving them to someone else to
cherish may be a good idea - afterall they
are only material things. Remember, you
are the most important thing.
Consider the area you want to move to.
Will it still be near enough for your family
and friends to visit you? Will you be happy,
because it’s not like you have the time
to do it all over again. It’s hard to find a
home that meets your every need. If one
of you were to die shortly after the move
(it happens) this could leave you, not only
with the heartache of losing your partner
but also living in a house in an unfamiliar
area and this would add to the pain surely.
Realistically though, memories are in your
head and heart and will always remain
with you, so you can take them anywhere.
You can talk to members of your family,
who can help you make that big decision
and help you search for the right place.
I can’t see Derrick and Elma moving. I
just think they will manage. They love
their home and I believe it will be too
much of a wrench for them both. I could
be wrong and I hope I am but buying and
selling is a huge ordeal for anyone. Some
might say they have left it too late in life,
only time will tell.
So, the conclusion is, move when the
space in your home is no longer needed,
move before the garden becomes too
much to handle, move when you have a
clear head and can enjoy looking for a
new home together.
Your home will probably have increased
in value and buying a smaller property
might give you plenty of equity for you to
have a more relaxed worry-free life and
to spend on your new home and treat
your family.
I know another couple in their 70s who
got together with their son and daughterin-law. Both sold their properties and
found another with a granny annex - the
perfect solution I would say.
Yes there are plenty of positives for moving
but remember to do it for yourselves and
don’t try to please other members of the
family, who, all so often want you to stay
in the house because they grew up in it.
Make the move easier by getting family and
friends to give you a hand.
You will probably be buying something
smaller afterall and you probably won’t
need the room. Come Christmas or at
family gatherings it’s much more fun
when you’re all snuggled up in the same
room talking, laughing and playing
games. What more could you ask for?
You can look forward to taking the
family out with your equity and treating
everyone to a meal, leaving the clearing
away to someone else.
It’s never too late to have that new start.
Age is just a number and life is for living
whatever age you are.
By Vivien Barker
25