Re: Autumn issue | Page 20

The 2014 Mayo Wynne Baxter Volunteer Day All staff working for Mayo Wynne Baxter are able to use one working day to volunteer for the charity of their choice. Gail Waller, Anjli Majevadia, Sinead McGeady and Catalina Panaitescu-Beacroft spent their day gardening for a special children’s charity. On 10 July 2014, four of the MWB team spent the day volunteering at Chestnut Tree House, near Arundel, the only children’s hospice in Sussex.  Cat, Anjli, Sinead and I arrived at the House in the morning with some trepidation, not least because of the ominous clouds overhead and the prospect of gardening in the rain.  We were warmly greeted by Shelley, the grounds manager, and, after a quick health and safety briefing over coffee, we were given our tools and put to work clearing the overgrown vegetation and weeds on the side of a small hill in the grounds. Although we’d been assured that we could work at a leisurely pace, we were all keen to achieve as much as possible during the day so we put our backs into the digging, chopping and raking.  through the memorial books in which parents had added favourite memories of their child.  Fortunately, the clouds disappeared and we were blessed with glorious sunshine so it was delightful to be working outside in the fresh air.  After lunch, we completed our work by raking wood chippings over the hill and the surrounding area to prepare it for seeding with grass and wildflowers.  We all felt pleased with a job well done and no doubt the area will look great when the flowers come through.  Our sombre thoughts were soon interrupted by a lively little boy running though the House giggling and calling for his daddy to keep up.  Seeing him running around the grounds and playing on the swings with a huge smile on his face really brought home to us the true value of the services provided by Chestnut Tree House.  All of us agreed that the warm, positive atmosphere pervading the House was not what we had expected but clearly made it a special place for families to spend time together.  On our tour of the House in the afternoon we were impressed by the quality of the facilities and the vast array of equipment available to the children – everything from musical instruments and arts and crafts to computers and multi-sensory rooms.    As a reward for our efforts, the chef had baked a delicious chocolate cake, which we enjoyed with a cuppa before heading off home, tired but happy.  Apparently the hydrotherapy pool, with its built-in projector, is particularly popular with the children, many of whom are unable to use facilities at their local swimming pool because of the risk of infection. A day’s care at Chestnut Tree House costs £6,850 and the majority of that money comes from fundraising but the work of volunteers at the House is equally crucial to its continued success.  The Reflection Room is a beautiful, tranquil corner looking out on to a pond and is a place for contemplation by families, regardless of their religion or culture.  We all found this part of the tour quite emotional, particularly looking We would certainly encourage any other MWB staff to get involved and give a few hours of their time for this amazing place.  By Gail Waller Parenting After Parting Your relationship with your partner may have ended but if you have children together your role as parents has not. Parenting can be challenging at the best of time let alone doing it with someone that you are separating from so where on earth do you start! Every family is different and the arrangements for your children should be tailor made to suit your family’s individual circumstances. The focus of any arrangements must be on your children’s needs and any decisions about children should be based solely on the children’s best interests. There is no one solution that suits all families. There is no rule about how responsibilities for looking after and raising children should be shared and divided, except that the overriding factor to consider is what is best in the interests of the children, not the parents. It’s not easy to work out parenting arrangements with a former partner when a relationship breaks down, so if you are struggling to reach an agreement don’t worry, that’s not unusual. Here are some tips that can help parents work things out: 1. Try and develop a shared set of values, this can make things easier for your children because they hear consistent messages and are not exposed to high levels of parental conflict. To help work this out spend time thinking about what you hoped for when the children were born, what you hope for them now and when they are older and what sort of people you would like them to become. Your parenting values may not be identical, but try to respect each other’s values. 18 2. Try to address issues instead of hanging on to anger and hurt. Moving forward is important for you and your children. 3. Put your feelings towards your former partner aside, talk to them respectfully as the parent of your children. When discussing issues, avoid blame. 4. Listen to each other’s opinions and ideas before responding. 5. Don’t spring issues on V6