Mirror. Mirror.
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happy it was over. This was an easier death than
others I’d faced. Oddly peaceful [...]
I saw him, and I had no will to fight.. .My subconscious had
stored Edward away in flawless detail, saving him for
this final moment. I could see his perfect face as if he
were really there; the exact shade of his icy skin, the
shape of his lips, the line of his jaw, the gold tinting
in his furious eyes [...]
Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as
my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in
the icy water, I was content. I’d forgotten what real
happiness felt like. (357-361)
Bella values Edward, “his perfect face” and “flawless detail,” so much that
she is willing to literally die to be with him. The juxtaposition of “real
happiness” with the description of her drowning suggests that for Bella, “real
happiness” is masochism. Yet just as the Edward she sees here is not real,
neither is her happiness; it is just a temporary relief from her emotional pain.
According to Gimlin, “What women look like becomes symbolic of their
characters—indeed, of their very selves” (4). After Edward leaves, Bella feels
“lifeless” inside; as a result, she intends to make her physical body “lifeless” as
well (95). Bella believes that by endangering herself, she is proving her love for
Edward by demonstrating the extremes she is willing to go to be with him and
thus feel special. She FV