Playing With
Your Spouse
BY JIM HACKENBERG
M
y wife, Yvonne, and I have been playing in pickleball
mixed doubles tournaments for over nine years now.
That’s a lifetime in terms of mixed doubles marriages. People
have often said we are role models for married pickleball
partnerships. I feel very uncomfortable when they say it to
me, because in all honesty it’s Yvonne who is the role model
on our team. She is the consummate partner. She never faults
her partner, whether it’s me in mixed doubles, or any woman
partner she has played with. To her, it’s “team,” win or lose.
I’m the one who may give an eye roll or a grunt when she hits
a shot I know I might be pulling out of my abdomen. But, if I
make the mistake, she is on to the next point without a word.
We men have a hard time holding back and not showing any
emotion, especially when we think our partner did not execute
or hit the appropriate shot at the appropriate time. And, let’s
face it, I have the luxury of being married to an excellent player,
so being supportive should be easy, right? Yet, I still need to be
reminded: “Straighten up, Jim, or I’m walking off the court.” So,
44
fellas, what’s a guy to do? Well, here’s something that, WHEN
I MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO DO IT, helps our team
dynamics and drastically improves our performance.
During my career as a training professional for a large
company, I had the opportunity of teaching Stephen A. Covey’s
“7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” It was a program our
company endorsed as something we wanted our corporate
culture to embrace. It was a highly effective program, especially
when employee evaluations were based on these important
principles and concepts. But, I’m not here to sell his book
(Covey unfortunately died from a bicycling accident) or his
programs. What I want to do is share with you one “habit” that
might help you and your spouse the next time you prepare to
take the court as a mixed doubles team.
While the “habits” really should be learned in order, I’ll skip
to Habit 2, “Begin With the End in Mind.” This “habit” is based
on the principle that all things are created twice. Stephen Covey
points out that everything is created twice, first in the mind
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