A Celebrant’s
Point of View
Here, Ruth Valentine, a celebrant, explains
her positive approach to arrangements and delights
in the choices available.
Twenty years ago, I was considering an eventual
deathbed conversion to the Russian Orthodox
Church. Not for its doctrine; I knew very little of
that. For the funerals.
I’d been to one in the Russian Cathedral in
South Kensington. The music was wonderful; years back a Jewish friend had put
non-belief aside for the privilege of singing
in that choir. There was the open coffin, the
congregation lining up to kiss our friend
goodbye, then hug her children. There was
the priest, newly arrived from Russia and,
we heard later, anxious about his English,
who stood beside her and spoke, not to us
but her: ‘You had a long and eventful life…
In the past few years walking was painful
for you...’ Later, after more unaccompanied
singing, he turned to us, the mourners: ‘You
think today that you’ll never forget G, but
soon there’ll be whole days when you don’t
think about her.’ The combination of the
matter-of-fact and the personal, the sublime and the physical, struck me at the time
as the perfect acknowledgment of a
complex life.