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PART III : THEORY
Communication is not just about talking but about listening and watching
Active listening can be used to check whether you have understood what a survivor has said . In such cases , repeat what you think you have heard to verify that you have understood correctly . If words are used differently in different languages or different cultural groups , however , even active listening can fail to pick up misunderstandings . So listen also to nonverbal forms of communication . Ask your local facilitator for tips to help you understand cultural differences in non-verbal communication . Listen carefully to what words a survivor uses to describe her situation or problem and use her words , instead of medical or culturally biased terms . Listening can take several forms . You can listen to the survivor ’ s actual words and interpret their meaning ; to the sound of her voice ; to her posture or body language ; to her silences and to what she does not say . Even when you listen with empathy and compassion , never assume that you know how a person feels . Repeat what she has said in your own words to show that you have understood , and give the other person a chance to correct you if you have misunderstood . Make sure that your own body language does not nullify what you say . It will not help to tell a survivor that you are very interested in what she says if your body language expresses boredom . At best , such mixed signals confuse the person to whom you are speaking . At worst they create mistrust , or doubts about your honesty and conviction .
Tolerate silences
When a survivor struggles to express herself , patience is important . Emotions can flood a survivor ’ s mind , upsetting her and interfering with the interview . Helpers should give a survivor time to manage her emotions , organise her thoughts , or decide to express a particular thought or not .
The relevance of human rights
Adopting a human rights approach may give you an extra tool . It helps you and the survivor to consider her right to speak , to be consulted , to participate , to remain silent , to confidentiality , to seek and obtain reparation , and to be treated at all times with respect and dignity .
To create an environment that is safe for the meeting of helper and survivor , confidentiality is of great importance . It is difficult or impossible to share and confide in someone if you are not sure whether your conversation is being treated confidentially . The right to remain silent is also significant , especially because the relationship between a helper and a survivor will often be misinterpreted as hierarchical . A survivor may believe that she must tell the helper everything . She should be reassured that this is not the case .