Looking after someone 2017, England | Page 6

4 Handling difficult conversations Even a tricky conversation with professionals can be a breeze compared to having to deal with family and friends. We may have to ask a sibling to be more supportive, remind a friend that we still exist or talk gently to a parent who doesn’t accept that they can’t live independently any longer. This takes courage, bags of patience and tact. Talking it through with people outside the situation can make a world of difference. “We put off talking about mental capacity with my grandmother. Having these difficult conversations early is far preferable to leaving it too late and having other people make decisions about the future.” 5 Looking after our own health and wellbeing As carers, we may have immediate needs such as taking breaks, getting sleep, eating properly or exercising. We may have longer-term needs such as building fulfilling relationships, pursuing hobbies or developing careers. Caring always involves an element of putting our own needs aside. However it’s important that we look after ourselves too, so we can keep going as carers, and because we are individuals whose needs are just as valid as those of our loved ones. “I never took a break – I look back now and wish I had been stronger to let others help care for mum. After years of hardly any sleep and no break, I seem to be constantly poorly and my immune system is at a low.” Looking after someone carersuk.org