The Soundtrack of my Life
by Kevin Naff
A few years later, in 1997, came the “Velvet Rope.” I was going through a hard time, after a close friend’s descent into alcoholism, the death of his father and the death of my partner’s father. And I still wasn’t out to my parents, which was weighing on me mightily. I was doing well professionally but faced a dilemma about coming out at work. No one else was openly gay at the large media company where I worked and was being promoted and thriving. Then came the murder of Matthew Shepard in 1998. That incident, coupled with Janet’s inspirational lyrics on “Free Xone” and especially “Together Again,” helped me to come out to my boss after a co-worker had engaged in homophobic behaviour on the job. I didn’t just come out, I blew the doors off, threatening my boss that if he didn’t fire the homophobe for his unethical behaviour that I would quit on the spot. I won and the other guy was fired. I have never looked back since. It was a tough couple of years as I endured a painful breakup.
In 2001, Janet returned again with “All For You.” The title track destroyed the charts – she was back and ubiquitous, once again confident and sexy and flaunting her newly single status. As much as I loved that song, the one that really spoke to me was “Better Days.” I had landed a “big job” at a Fortune 100 company and was enjoying all the perks – the high pay, bonuses. I bought a house with my partner. I was out to my parents and they were accepting. Life was good, at last.
And then 9/11 happened and my boss, who was a fundamentalist Christian who kept a Bible on his desk, started openly blaming gays for the terrorist attacks. It was irrational, but a common response from extreme right-wing homophobes. I used to live in New York and had many personal connections to the horrific events of that awful day. I was out of the closet in my personal life but not out at work, for obvious reasons. But after 9/11, that began to change. I started dropping hints about being gay around the office and word quickly got back to my boss. He retaliated almost immediately, slamming me with a negative performance review, which I’d never experienced in my career. Things eventually got so bad that he withdrew all my work assignments and forced me to check in with the office secretary whenever I left my desk, even when I had to go to the bathroom. I was a six-figure director with high-profile accounts and a sterling reputation and suddenly I reported to the secretary when I had to pee. It was humiliating, dehumanizing and overtly discriminatory. Anti-gay jokes became de rigeur around the office, especially when my boss and his cronies were in front of me.