ION INDIE MAGAZINE September 2014, Volume 4 | Page 53

“It would have been better to hear Jim Croce’s version. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Hell no. Let’s set the tone with some good Rock and Roll. Or, why not freak everyone out with Tubular Bells
as they walk in? You know, the theme from ‘The Exorcist’.”
“Then what, ‘Highway to Hell’ by AC/DC as they walk in?”
“Now you’re talking. Why not spice it up with The Bee Gees ‘Stayin’ Alive’? Darrell hesitated for a minute.
Something was brewing in his head. “That’s it! We need a funeral playlist. Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door. That’s
a no brainer. And you know what people always say about the deceased, “Oh, they look so natural?” Well,
Procol Harum’s ‘Whiter Shade of Pale’ can be playing around the casket.”
“What if they’ve been cremated?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Easy. Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’, followed by Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Burnin’ for You’.”
“You’re sick!”
“I know.”
“And I suppose if they died tragically in a car accident they should play ‘Last Kiss’?”
“Only if it’s Pearl Jam’s version. Oh man!” Darrell shouts and throwing his arms up. “As they proceed to the
burial, blasting through the joint should be B.O.C’s ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’.”
“I don’t know. This all seems awfully dark. I think you need to lighten the mood a bit?”
Darrell sits back. His mind is in overdrive. I’m thinking too, but can’t come up with anything. Suddenly he
slams his hands on the table.
“I’ve got it. Picture this. Judy Garland’s version of ‘It’s a Hap, Hap, Happy Day’, with a bubble machine filling
the air with happy bubbles. It’s perfect.”
I couldn’t argue. He nailed it. Though I have no idea how he came up with it and was too afraid to ask. “We
have the wake playlist started. What about at the burial?” I ask.
“Easy. It’s a toss-up between INXS’s ‘Kiss the Dirt’ or Ween’s ‘Pushing Daisies’.”
“What about ‘Grave Digger’ by Dave Matthews?”
“Nah…too morbid.”
“Yeah, like that’s over the top,” I reply. ‘Waiting for the Worms’ then by Pink Floyd.
“Bingo. Now you’re getting it.”
“It’s been a long day for these people. What are you going to send them home with?”
“Metallica’s ‘Fade to Black’. Done. Now everyone can go home.” Darrell sits back, proud of his list.
After a few minutes of picking at our lunch in silence, we both looked at each other. We know we missed
something. There has to be a few more songs to add to the playlist. What are they?