International Lifestyle Magazine Issue 53 | Page 73

Embracing Differences
Rebekah Fensome

H

ayley, 36 had been in a relationship with Tony for 5 months. She felt at the beginning their differences were
a good thing and whilst it had been exciting, their relationship was increasingly becoming more like hard
work. They were arguing alot and were finding they were now also disagreeing on fundamental life decisions
as well as silly little things. “I’m finding that those differences between me and Tony that were apparent at the
beginning are increasingly becoming annoying as our relationship goes on. At the beginning I didn’t think it’d be a
problem but it is. We just seem to have completely mismatched values, ideas and thoughts about our lives.”

Through investigation and analysis
it became apparent that Hayley and
Tony were incompatible. This tends
to be one of the biggest reasons for
relationship break up and Hayley
felt by the end of her coaching
sessions that she did have to split
up with Tony as she couldn’t see
how it was ever going to work in the
long term. To help her make the final
decision we looked at the following
to help her identify whether she was
incompatible with Tony or not: One of the main reasons behind
incompatibility is lack of shared
values. It is important that a couple
discuss their values and if there are
some differences decide whether
this is a deal breaker for them or
not. For example, one partner may
not want chi