insideKENT Magazine Issue 37 - April 2015 | Page 147

LAW MAKING HANDOVER OF YOUR CHILDREN WORK FOLLOWING SEPARATION OR DIVORCE Handover is a time when both parents come into contact when picking up or dropping off their children. It is often a difficult and daunting prospect for a parent to see their ex, even when the separation was amicable. Where there is animosity between parents, handover can be used as an opportunity for one parent to intimidate or upset the other, which is why it is important to establish some ground rules. Kate Lovegrove Children are sensitive to a tense atmosphere, and will often watch and observe the body language of their parents; it is also an upsetting reminder that their parents are not together anymore. If handover of the children has become fraught and communication has broken down between you then you may wish to consider attending family mediation together—you can ask your solicitor to write to your ex or apply to the family court. or there is a court order preventing a parent from contacting the other parent or going near the family home. In this circumstance, a third party can assist with handover, such as a relative or a mutual friend, or you could drop off and pick up the children at a relative’s address. You can also use a child contact centre for handover. These centres are staffed by volunteers and offer a neutral place in which children of separated families can spend time with the other parent in a supported or supervised setting. In Kent, there are six contact centres. You can find out where they are based on the National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC) website. Recently, there were reports in the media of contact centres closing due to lack of solicitor referrals; the NACCC are due to launch a publicity campaign so that parents are aware of this service and the fact that you do not need a solicitor referral to use this facility. Top tips for an amicable handover 1. Decide where handover should take place. If you want to avoid coming into contact with your ex full stop, you could have an arrangement where one parent takes the children to school and the other parent does the pick-up. If this is not practical, then consider a neutral location for handover. Sometimes handover in a public place can help to modify behaviour. However, usually the family home is the most common; sometimes one parent stays outside and the children meet their parent at the doorstep, or one parent stays in the car outside and the children go to the car. Find a place that suits you both and is best for the children The last resort for a parent is to make an application to the family court for a child arrangements order. The court can specify where handover is to take place and the division of the children’s time between the parents. I recommend you seek legal advice before doing so. 2. Be polite and courteous during handover, and stay calm Kate Lovegrove recently spoke about this subject on BBC Radio Kent. If you would like further legal advice or are interested in family mediation, please contact Kate Lovegrove in the family team at Cripps at [email protected] or on 01892 506205. 3. Agree on how you will communicate with each other about the children’s arrangements – will it be by text, telephone, or email? 4. Be on time and let the other parent know by telephone or text message if you are delayed 5. Make sure you have everything you need for the children, so that you can avoid going back to collect items About Cripps 6. Avoid having a difficult conversation with the other parent whilst in the children’s presence, and make it a quick goodbye 7. Avoid bringing a new partner with you. This is likely to antagonise the other parent! What other options do I have? www.cripps.co.uk @CrippsFamLaw With an acrimonious breakup, it is not always possible for some parents to come into contact with each other – whether it is due to high emotions Cripps is a key regional law firm serving clients nationally and internationally from offices in Kent and London. Recognised countrywide for both its commercial and private client work and Legal Team of the Year (Midsize) in the 2014/15 STEP Private Client Awards, the firm focuses on wealthier families, entrepreneurial businesses and the real estate sector. This article gives examples and is intended for general guidance only. 147