ated from law school that said , while he ’ s proud of that accomplishment , I would never amount to anything since I was a lesbian .
Fast forwarding 20 years , my younger sister came out as a lesbian . Her mother , who teaches diversity issues in a large company , was supportive of her and helped my father get on board . I remember at a party for my sister and her girlfriend , my dad raised a toast to them and joked around with all her gay and lesbian friends .
For years I was hurt and furious because they were so supportive of my sister and so unsupportive of me . My dad said it was “ the times .” True , but his words and abandonment of me in my teens and young adulthood stung . He loved her and was disappointed in me . It was a “ story ” that was triggered and triggered over and over again in my life .
And then , after another ten years , I got it ! I realized I was on the transition team of a sexual revolution ; my life occupied the space in between — the parenthesis ! There was nothing wrong with me ; it was just a transition in time and how blessed was I to be part of it ! My map changed . Peace ... at last .
You too may find it helpful to take a moment to look back over your life to see if you are holding onto hurt or anger because you were ahead of the curve , and people around you could not keep up . Perhaps you were on a transition team too ?
If , looking at our maps , we then contemplate our state of inner peace again and our hope for peace in the world , we might feel agitated , overwrought , disempowered , or not heard . We might feel like we are not part of or buy into today ’ s divisive landscape .
But , from a new place of awareness , we must realize we are getting things ready for the next phase in humanity ’ s evolution , a new collective map of the world .
When I was coming out back in 1979 , there was no way could I imagine movements of people , the courts , and my own father , supporting gay / lesbian marriage !
Do you think world peace will happen in your lifetime ? It doesn ’ t matter ... someone has to be at the forefront of its creation . Can you be the person who speaks out for peace ? Can you honestly be okay with the parenthesis state of being ? Can you step into and embrace being the transition ?
If yes , as part of a Kick-Ass Transition-Peace-Team , how do we create world peace ? What do we need to do ? Starting with cultivating our own peace of mind , here is a list of some practical suggestions for a new inner map of the world . Ready to commit ?
n Listen to others with compassion and not for our own agenda n Be compassionate with yourself and others n Empathize with the hurt and pain of others , but do not get caught up in it n Do not lead with your past “ woe is me ” story n Acknowledge why you continue your story and be willing to give it up for a new , more empowering story n Understand what map of the world is running you , and where it came from . Is it yours or just a repeat of someone else ’ s map ? n Choose your own beliefs and values and live them with integrity n Be willing to stop looking and searching for peace outside yourself and instead , choose peace within n Be witness to your life ... Observe how you BE in the world rather than just going with the flow . Remember , it ’ s a choice n Take responsibility for making the world a better place , do something significant , get involved n Practice peace by living with forgiveness . Forgive yourself and others often and build those forgiveness muscles
Ultimately , this journey you are on to find peace is not dependent on events in the outside world , but your own inner journey . Are you a person of integrity ? Do you live to be right or to have compassion ? Are you doing , acting , being , thinking and relating to others in accordance with your own inner values ? While wishing the past was different , it doesn ’ t change . It can ’ t . However , seeing a new perspective and changing your story certainly can help you step onto a path towards peace .
Author ’ s Postcript
Whether we acknowledge it or not , the toll of war and violence in the DNA of American history has caused deep soul injuries to all of us . Today , there are Native American ’ s standing together to stop an environmentally disastrous pipeline , to maintain sacred burial grounds , to uphold treaties , to protect and keep our water supply clean , and to uphold the environmental protection of lands for all people . As Americans , we have great collective guilt and shame over our
24 IMAGINE l FALL 2016