Courageous Conversation
World peace begins with inner peace
BY LORI RUBENSTEIN
If a golden age of peace is to dawn , we first need to stop our inner wars , stop our destructive self-loathing , and learn how to accept , release , forgive , and love ourselves and others .
In this journey called life , we generally view reality through a small personal lens called “ my map of the world .” As we grow , learn , age , change , and connect with people who have different perspectives , different maps , our maps often change . My early map wasn ’ t particularly happy . As a child I was often bullied by others , so it was easy for me to feel disconnected . My parents — who were too young to have children — divorced .
Feelings of abandonment and betrayal together with a lack of friends left me feeling alone . That feeling of separateness from others can set off a whole range of destructive emotions , like jealousy , envy , greed , and pride . I turned to drugs and went looking for love in all the wrong places .
Our map of the world is formed by the lingering and predominant thoughts we allow to swim around in our head . So if we don ’ t feel peace within , how can we experience or create peace in the world ?
Stopping self-abuse and practicing forgiveness and self-compassion is always a good start . Have you ever thought how life would be different if you truly believed that your thoughts created your life ? If you believed this to be true , what changes would you be prepared to make and how meticulous would you be with your thoughts ?
I knew from my childhood what it was like to feel separate and to not fit in . Separation creates a “ we-they ” phenomenon . It makes it possible to hate someone else . Although we see ourselves as separate , we don ’ t realize that invisible energy fields around us actually intersect when we come together .
Many years and experiences have brought me to a healthier , more peaceful inner map of the world . Today , as a forgiveness teacher , I have seen how some people can forgive others and not themselves . But worse , many beat themselves up for not being able or ready to forgive . “ If I ’ m so spiritual , why can ’ t I let go ; why can ’ t I forgive ?” Feelings are feelings and still need to be honored . Only from that point of honoring our feelings will true forgiveness really settle in and the possibility of inner peace arise .
From a large cultural vantage point , author and visionary , Jean Houston , talks about periods of time in society when we are in the midst of transitions ; she calls this “ being in the parenthesis .” I personally felt a great deal of anger and hurt when I was in a parenthesis time of my life . From 1979 to 1986 , I was in an awesome , exciting and loving lesbian relationship . No one in my family was happy about it , but in particular , my father was furious . He was ashamed of me . He actually wrote me a note when I gradu-
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