TORN BETWEEN A DESIRE
AND THE TRUTH
I was addicted to pornography from the age of 12 after
accidentally stumbling upon them. However, an experience
that I encountered around the same time led me to be
certain that God existed.
O
n the outside, I was very honest and strong in faith. I was perceived
as a “church boy”, so amongst many other things, I lied about my
addiction. This resulted in a serious conflict inside of me.
In addition to this, I always had an interest in girls. This interest intensified
as I got older. Although I entertained these thoughts, I never acted on them
because I had low confidence, which was partly because of my addiction.
The cycle of falsely representing myself and feeling disgusted with my
addiction continued for years. It became worse during the summer
when I finished year 11.
I got a massive boost of confidence from a course called The Challenge.
The following year, I began to pursue girls more often. Meanwhile, the
firm belief I had in God caused me to have a conflict of interest.
I was suffering internally, because I knew that what I was doing
was wrong. I was a FAKE. Even when I started attending the UCKG
HelpCentre, my pride led me to believe that I already had God’s favour.
At one point, I managed to stop masturbating, but I fell back into the
habit three months later. I finally realised that I was proud, and I was
harbouring all sorts of negativity inside me. I remember crying out
before God and finally being sincere. Since then, everything in my
life has gone UP.
I’ve turned away from the things that had trapped me for so long, and
now I’m truly free. I have been blessed, and I have a strong desire to
save the souls of those who are lost, as I was.
Efue Jimawo
ARE YOU FEELING HOPELESS?
Build up your inner strength and develop the right kind of hope for your life
WEDNESDAYS 7.30PM (Also at 7am, 10am & 3pm)
(Addresses on page 46)
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