Networking Upward:
– how to create relationships with the influencers
in your business or community.”
Teresa de Grosbois
I see Stephanie’s expression change as Jack1 walks over.
Her lips draw slightly to one side in a subtle look of contempt and impatience. Stephanie is exceptional at event
hosting and is beloved in her community. She handles the
situation with patience and puts an ironic smile on her
face as Jack walks up.
“Do you mind if I hand these brochures about my business
out at the door as your guests are leaving?” Jack asks.
Sue graciously declines. It might be a conflict with her
event sponsors.
“No worries,” says Jack. “By the way, I sent you a request
for a recommendation on LinkedIn.”
people make in networking is not seeing that there’s a
different set of etiquette involved with influential people.
They run into the gatekeepers and can’t understand why.
You intuitively know that you won’t get far offering to buy
Oprah Winfrey a coffee. You’re unlikely to get close enough
even to ask. So somewhere between the guy you met at the
networking function and Oprah, the rule book changed.
Enter the example of Jack and Stephanie. Jack is clearly
clueless that he’s not playing by the right rulebook.
Consider the analogy of meeting a new neighbor. When
you meet a new neighbor, you may bring them a lasagna
or apple pie, any gesture to kick-start the relationship on
friendly terms. But when you meet an influencer, you are
inclined to forget this etiquette.
I can see Jack has no idea how badly he’s crashing and
burning in this moment. Stephanie is well known in Toronto. She routinely does big events and is well liked. An
endorsement from Stephanie means something.
We’ve all been to those sales and networking courses, the
ones that tell you to get out there and assert yourself. That
if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
Jack is in the process of making the biggest and most common mistake people make when trying to connect with the
influential. It’s what I affectionately call “the premature
ask”.
So you see the influential person at the networking event,
and you rush up and ask them for endorsements, connections or anything else you can think of before they’ve even
had a chance to ask whether you have kids or like pets.
Enter the gatekeeper. Stephanie’s assistant Jan purposefully walks over and tells Stephanie she’s urgently needed.
Stephanie graciously excuses herself.
Guess what? You’ve just become the new neighbor whose
first act is to ask to borrow the lawn mower. In other
words, you’ve made a premature ask.
Jack has no idea what just happened.
Yikes.
People generally network for 2 reasons. In an Internet survey of top reasons why people network, the top two are:
1. building relationships (95%)
2. looking for opportunities (90%)
There’s nothing to rush into. Building relationships with
influential people takes time and investment. And like any
game, you’ve gotta know the rules.
Here are four tips you can use:
So meeting the influential, who can bring you opportunities, is a goal of networking. One of the biggest mistakes
40
1.
Mind the time. Influencers are extremely busy, so time