bathroom, or a spot in the kitchen, allow
your child to choose an area that will be
designated as her place to regroup and calm
down. Have her create a name for this special spot.
Create a comfort basket.
Find a basket and fill it with items that will
help soothe your upset child. Certified Positive Discipline Trainer Glenda Montgomery
advocates the addition of a “comfort basket” in feel-good spots. “If a child has any
special toy or stuffed animal that he likes
to hold when he’s upset, definitely add it to
the comfort basket.” Blankets, books, and
music are all excellent items to put in comfort baskets, as are lumps of clay to pound,
exercise bands to stretch, and squishy balls
to squeeze. Older children may like to keep
a journal or sketchbook in their basket, or
even a bottle of bubble bath to use. If you’re
using a large area or a whole room as the
feel-good spot, you could also include bigger items such as a punching bag or trampoline. The idea is to fill the area with items
to help your child relieve stress and begin
to calm down. Some children benefit from
a physical outlet, while others prefer emotional outlets.
Ask preferences.
When your child gets emotionally overwhelmed and upset and it’s time to put the
feel-good spot to use, ask if she would like
to go by herself or if she’d like you to come
too. Children have different preferences
for this; some kids may feel “banished” if
they are expected to go alone, and would
feel more secure if you’re there supporting
them, while others need to be left alone to
decompress. It is important to respect their
preferences, and understand that these may
change over the years.
Parents can ensure that time-outs are truly
in their child’s best interest if they ask for
input, work together to understand everyone’s needs, remain flexible, and keep in
mind the big picture; that a time-out is just
a way of helping a child feel better so he can
do better.
Kelly Bartlett is the author of Encouraging
Words For Kids. She is a Certified Positive
Discipline Educator and freelance writer with
a focus on child development, family relationships and discipline. You can find more of her
work at www.kellybartlett.net
47