The holidays are upon us… the season of gifts
and “gimme’s.”
All around us, kids are encouraged to reveal
their wishes of candy, gingerbread cookies,
and overstuffed stockings next to shiny new
bikes/game systems/toys-of-the-year, complete with giant bows on top.
Whether for budgets or a desire to live a less
cluttered lifestyle, parents everywhere are
looking for ways to cut back. Without spoiling the fun and fantasy of the holidays, how
can you reasonably manage your child’s expectations?
Here’s how to have a simple, yet meaningful
holiday with kids:
1. Good communication is key. Using opportunities daily to teach your values to
your children can preserve the excitement
of the holidays while keeping realistic
expectations. If your children know you
don’t approve of violent video games, they
won’t be surprised when Santa doesn’t
bring one. Be firm and honest with your
reasons for not following along with the
crowd: “John’s parents make decisions
they feel are right for their family, and
Daddy and I make decisions we feel are
right for our family. While our answer on
X is no, we do enjoy saying yes to other
things we know you’re wishing for.”
2. Children need to learn how to make
choices, prioritize, and deal with disappointment. Consistently giving in to a
child’s gimme attitude can morph into
selfishness and a sense of entitlement.
Children hear they can have
anything and everything they want. It’s
your job as a parent to clue them into reality. Encourage children to prioritize their
wish lists. When they bring you that long
list, ask them to choose the top one or two
things they really want. If Santa stops at
your house, explain to younger children
that Santa likes to focus on the gifts they
want the most (he DOES have a lot of kids
to please, after all!) But don't ignore the
rest of the list. Discuss each item to find
out the why's behind the wishes -- understanding why a child wants something can
help you find out their true desires, and
it's often not about the "stuff."
3. Set limits up front about what kids can
expect on Christmas morning. Consider
the want/need/wear/read approach -- each
kid gets one thing they want, one thing
they need, something to wear and something to read. While you can't control
what other people give your kids, you can
set the expectation of what they'll get from
you.
4. Emphasize gratitude. Even when children
are disappointed, it’s important for them
to learn how to be gracious recipients.
Expressing gratitude so others’ feelings
don’t get hurt is a must-have skill, and it
goes beyond the pouty-faced "thank you."
Teaching kids to be genuinely gracious
and thankful for all they have can go a
long way to helping them understand the
concept of "enough," particularly when
there are so many people who don't have
anything.
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