Far Horizons: Tales of Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Horror. Issue #13 April 2015 | Page 114

# Nanny lets me go out into the garden but she looks mad when I go there, so I do not like her. I did not want to listen to her but father asked me too. He is busy all the time , and when he is he worries where I am. I do not want father to worry so now I listen to nanny. # I found a strange animal with four legs. It was the colour of sand. I tried to check if it was made of sand but nanny shouted and led me away. Father would not have shouted. Maybe he made it out of sand like he had promised? thing strange in father’s voice. They are shouting from afar. Mostly those on the right wall. I will never touch a lizardz again. # I am hiding on the balcony behind the curtain. There are steps to the garden behind me and the shelter is around the corner. Father is in the room. I want to come up to him but he is writing something and his face is scary. He does not look like father. I am afraid. I will not come out until not-father leaves. # The quarters are quiet today but I am afraid to fall # There are big leaves there. In the garden. In the evening father showed me how to make a shelter out of them. He was sad and not busy. I did not help. I was thinking what was better - a free father or a happy father. I asked him if he could be happy and free, always. He did not answer. It must be a secret. He patted my head and asked not to touch the ‘lizardz’. That is the sand animal. I do not know why but I should not touch them. # I found one more lizardz. It was on the top of the shelter. I poked it with a stick. Nothing happened to the stick. Or to the lizardz. I was called to eat. When I came back the sand animal was gone. Maybe it felt hurt. I feel hurt too when nanny leaves and does not tell me. # I distracted father today, he looked happier. I hid under his table with my dolls. They talked to father and asked about lizardzes. Then about the sand. I sat there and listened. Father talks to the dolls well, they like him. I told him: ‘they like you’. He likes them back. # Father left late in the evening. When I need to go to bed he is always in our rooms but this time he has gone to the quarters. I cannot sleep. I am watching the lizardzes that are running on the walls. It is scary. They are made of sand and they talk. They say some- PAGE 113