if there were mistakes you made , no amount of money is going to heal the wounds . You will find yourself continuously giving of your time , patience , money and attention and never resolving the issue . Only God can bring healing to the situation and the ability to forgive . Believe you are forgiven and as a result , parent from a place of freedom because God is for you , not against you !
SETTING BOUNDARIES Tip # 1 : Let Peace Be Your Goal
When peace is the goal , how you approach and express a situation will be evident . Is the purpose of what you are saying going to bring peace ? You can express how you feel with understanding , yet hold them accountable for their behavior towards you as a parent . Tearing down the person will never produce peace . Blaming others for how you feel isn ’ t a peaceful tool . You cannot speak for them , but you are able to share how their behavior makes you feel .
Tip # 2 : Plan the When & Why
When setting boundaries , you need to make sure the timing is right . Never begin these types of conversations during an argument or out of frustration . Set time aside when you are able to discuss your feelings . Own how it makes you feel when you are disrespected . This helps you identify your feelings and maybe opens a door for your adult child to hear how it makes you feel . Your children need to be aware of the hurt they are causing . You need to show you love yourself enough to not allow anyone to mistreat you , even your own child . Understand this is not only for your benefit , but theirs as well . When someone honors their parents , the Bible says things will go well with them and that God will give them long life . There is reward in honor .
Tip # 3 : Mark the Boundary Lines
Let them know you what you will no longer tolerate . Only you can determine what you will not allow . If it keeps you up at night , causes you stress or even physical pain , then you must be confident in your expectation . Explain how you will respond if that boundary is crossed . Decide whether certain subjects cannot be discussed if it fuels anger and discord until it can be done in an acceptable manner . If it is physical abuse you must have the fortitude to call the proper authorities and not protect them while you suffer . You must realize you are setting them up to fail . They will bring this behavior into the work place , their relationships and maybe into their children ’ s lives . Don ’ t teach them they are exempt from consequences .
Stay consistent with the boundary lines . As parents , we always want to believe children , are changing and then give them chance after chance , but in this world they may not be given the same . As hard as it may be , it is imperative you keep your word in the midst whatever circumstance you are in . Children will not be taken by surprise because you have already explained the outcome of bad behavior . If you don ’ t keep your word and follow through , it is possible they will not respect those boundaries or your word in the future .
Tip # 4 : Communication is Key
Many times adult children who continue to disrespect their parents have unresolved anger . Their words contain hidden anger , and it is displayed in their behavior , body language or even through sarcasm . It may require you to humble yourself before them if there are events from their childhood that need to be reconciled . Maybe you didn ’ t even notice the wrong . Every child has a perception to life whether it is truth or not ; perception is reality . If you feel unsafe in discussing the past , you must bring in someone such as a therapist or counselor to help you both approach the deep issues .
When Your Adult Children Require Too Much
We tend to raise our children and believe they will leave the home to create their own homes and family . For countless reasons in today ’ s world many have never left the home and then create their own families still within the home . This brings so many more dynamics that most parents were not prepared for in their later years .
Tip # 1 : Don ’ t Stunt Their Growth
When adult children are living in the home , it is important to their growth as a healthy adult to have the same responsibilities that they would have if they were