I need to stand in the gap with families in crisis by bringing the Light . Light always overpowers darkness , and my presence is a powerful gift when loneliness sets in because of loss . I believe with all my heart that death , the method God used for salvation , is the vehicle He uses to bring about life . So when I stand at the grave with families , I know the hope of life is in the story of the resurrection . I tell them they are loved by their Heavenly Father , who knows how they feel , and only He can heal their broken hearts .
Explain how your definition of “ family ” has changed through this process . I have four biological children , and it wasn ’ t until I adopted babies in death that I understood how much I could love a child I didn ’ t carry . The carrying in my heart and claiming through fighting the systems of justice was every bit as laborious for me . Naming a child is a parental right that gives authority , so when I name a baby , I feel the inheritance of family fill my legacy . Another dynamic of “ family ” that expanded for me was when others “ adopted ” me . Walking through the sacredness of suffering creates a forever bond , such as when families tell me I am family to them because we shared the intimacy of grief in the most difficult of losses — a child . Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the attachment others feel to me , but I have to say I have not felt taken advantage of by anyone I have served .
How did you involve your husband and children in what God was leading you to do ? Sharing these amazing families and their stories with my husband and family has captured all of their hearts . Our kingdom value for sharing the gospel of Jesus by bringing light to the darkness of injustice has been a part of the fabric of our lives for a long time . My husband ’ s ministry to Mission to Ukraine , our family ’ s commitment to Safe Families of Indiana and many other opportunities have allowed us to serve together by engaging in the world around us . I have enjoyed watching each one use their unique gifts to love their neighbor by being available relationally . Their presence at my events show how much they care . My son recently moved back to be the senior pastor with Antioch Indy , and he has jumped in to the many opportunities to come alongside me , offering prayer , leadership and community to hurting families .
How were you able to teach your children to engage in honoring these precious lives and providing dignity in their death , while protecting them from details they weren ’ t ready to handle ? My youngest daughter , Caroline , was a sophomore in high school when I adopted Zachary ( the first child we actually buried ). I didn ’ t feel she was too young to attend the funeral or understand the need I was acting upon . Many of her friends ’ moms supported us at the funeral and took the group of girlfriends out of school to attend . They provided the balloons with scripture verses on cards attached to the end of the strings . They handed out the balloons , and their participation was a gift to all of us . There is no better way to have honest conversations about hard things than at a grave . Talking with the girls about the value of every life was memorable and priceless !
Each time God led you to minister to a family , you came upon potential spiritual , cultural and economic barriers . How have you been able break down those barriers and cultivate meaningful relationships ? Breakthrough happens every time I give the gift of time . Time has a profound way of tearing down all barriers . I used to think that “ time , talent and treasures ” had equal weight of importance in showing love to our neighbors . One of the foundational changes I have made during the growth of He Knows Your Name as a ministry is time is the most precious of all gifts . Most of the people I serve never ask me for money ; they just want friendship . They want someone to stand with them . They long to be known . Nothing says , “ I see you ,” like time spent together .
How does sharing in the pain of others cause a ripple effect of healing ? Everyone has pain in his or her life . Living life honestly in community through the local church is God ’ s way of helping us have a loving family around us for support and strength . God designed us to be the body of Jesus so we could bring the kingdom and be a taste of heaven to this broken world . When we live healed , whole , transformed lives , others can too . When we heal togeth-