Faith Filled Family Magazine February 2017 | Page 45

If one spouse or both come from households where parents created a toxic environment , the solution is no different . The children must extricate themselves from the toxicity which means they may have to stop visiting and / or stop speaking to the parent . With prayer and wisdom , the child must assess the situation . What causes the most toxic moments ? What circumstances result in the least toxicity ? The married child and his / her spouse must work on this together . After all , the bible does say , “ Honor your mother and father .” You can honor the toxic parent with :
• A five-minute phone call
• Breakfast at the local diner
• A half-hour visit
• A trip to an amusement park where interaction is limited
• Complete withdrawal while both parties work on themselves .
During the absence , the toxinbearer must learn how he or she is toxic and work on eliminating it from his / her mind , language and behavior . And the victim can cleanse him / herself of any “ toxins ” that remain . These toxins can be negative experiences , thoughts , wounds , etc . Both can also strengthen their spiritual muscles . With prayer and patience , a renewed relationship can emerge .
THE BIBLICAL RESPONSE TO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
It is God ’ s will that every relationship be a demonstration of his love . Real love requires workthe work of prayer , patience and spirit . That could mean working on self and exercising patience so that God can do his work .
Consider the toxic relationship that emerges between Jacob and Esau . After Jacob swindles his brother out of his inheritance , he has to flee from his home . Remember Esau ’ s plaintive request to his father ? “ Don ’ t you have one more blessing for me ?” ( Genesis 27:38 ) Jacob might have fled , but surely , Esau seethed during his brother ’ s absence .
But Esau obviously stopped seething and began working . We can conclude this because when the brother finally meet , Esau is a wealthy man : emotionally and materially . Once God gave Jacob the signal to return home , Jacob approaches his brother with trepidation . When Esau embraces his brother and kisses him on the neck , we know the healing has taken place . And when Jacob wants to give Esau gifts of cattle , Esau says he has enough already . The brother weakened by deceit and loss is now strong .
While the poisoned are out of harm ’ s way , away from the toxins , they have work to do . They must take the Apostle Paul ’ s advice and arm themselves with the best protection against any harm which is the full armor of spirituality clearly spelled out in Galatians 6:10-17 :
Put on the full armor of God , so that when the day of evil comes , you may be able to stand your ground , and after you have done everything , to stand . 14 Stand firm then , with the belt of truth buckled around your waist , with
the breastplate of righteousness in place , 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace . 16 In addition to all this , take up the shield of faith , with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one . 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit , which is the word of God .
One never knows from which direction or from whom trouble may come , so one ’ s responsibility as a person of faith is to strive to be ever ready . Believers can be fully prepared for any “ toxin ” if their spiritual armor is in place . They must be armed with truth , righteousness , peace , faith , and the word of God .
When Christians are “ right ,” they can discern the “ toxin ,” filter it out of their lives and spirits , strengthen themselves in its absence , and at the appropriate time , confront it with love .
1 Cory , Thomas A . PhD . “ Toxic Relationships .” Healthscopes , https :// goo . gl / RERSdy . Accessed 4 January 2017 .
2 Mommie Dearest . Perf . Faye Dunaway . IMDb . IMDb . com , n . d . Web . 05 Jan . 2017 .