Faith Filled Family Magazine February 2017 | Page 29

when something happens that reminds them of their hurt and then it comes in out of nowhere and takes over .
Bitterness in a marriage can be a stumbling block or an obstacle that prevents us from moving forward . If we cannot get past the old hurts , we cannot have the blessings in the new relationship .
A lot of time the world will tell us to accept that someone has been hurt and accept that it will be a sore spot in our relationship . This is not the way God intended relationships to be . He never wants us to hold onto things that will hurt us and other people we have relationships with .
If you or someone else is in a relationship where past hurts are hurting your current relationships , it is absolutely critical that you deal with the bitterness in your heart or you will allow it to be a wedge in your marriage . If bitterness from the past builds up in your heart , it can tear apart the beautiful new relationship you are trying to build . It will hold you back from enjoying this blessing so it is in your best interest and also the new relationship ’ s new interest to deal with is once and for all .
WHAT WE CAN DO TO MOVE FROM BITTERNESS TO FOR- GIVENESS .
When we looked at the remedies for bitterness , it truly comes down to some key treatments . Forgiveness is one of the most successful and common cure ’ s that has a very high success rate in treating the root problem of bitterness . Here are some ways to work through getting from bitterness into the freedom that forgiveness and healing brings .
1 ) Embrace your feelings Do not bury your feelings , allow yourself to walk through the steps and feel your emotions so they are expressed and not covered up . If you don ’ t allow yourself this step , they will keep coming back up . It is okay to get angry , it is okay to be sad and mourn what has happened to you . It is an important part of the process to get these emotions out in order to move on .
2 ) Pray for the ones who caused the hurt Not an easy task I know , but our hearts do soften when we bring the people who have hurt us to God . This will likely feel like the last thing to do , but it is a crucial step in the process .
3 ) Look Inward We always play a role to a certain degree in a situation . When someone has wronged us , it is very easy to focus on what they did . An important step of healing and being able to move on is to look at yourself in the situation and see if there were any area ’ s you did not act appropriately as well . Is there a need to ask forgiveness from your end as well ?
4 ) Forgive Holding onto what has happened hurts you just as much or more than the person you are angry or hurt by . Yes , they may be completely wrong and you may be completely justified by the worlds standards to be
mad , but God asks more of us . He asks us to forgive , to let go , to soften your heart and make peace . Bitterness escalates until it is so attached to you that you become desensitized to it being there . Also very important to keep in mind ; forgiveness is not forgetting , enabling poor behavior , denial , or in response to an apology .
The bottom line is bitterness will keep you chained to it and forgiveness and giving it to God is the only pair of scissors that can cut you free from them . I challenge you to look in areas of your life and examine if there are past hurts that have grown into bitterness . Walk yourself through the steps of overcoming it and bring it to God , the only one who can turn something negative into something beautiful and renewed . It is never too late , don ’ t wait another second to let the enemy have any control in your life .
My name is Danielle Foisy . I am a follower of Christ , a wife and a mom . I write a blog about parenting , marriage and faith at www . thestruggleis . com