sion show does not qualify as time spent together- especially if there is no interaction .
2 . Absence of Dialogue . You don ’ t speak to each other anymore . When we don ’ t communicate , we can ’ t share what is in our hearts . We become emotionally isolated and intimacy begins to erode .
3 . Priorities Out of Order . We become distracted with life and the pursuit of “ things ” at the cost of our marriage . For some , it is obtaining material wealth that causes them to work extended hours . However , what good is financial security if you no longer have someone to share it with ? Maybe it ’ s time spent shuttling the children or investing time into them . The children will grow up and leave . What will your marriage be like then ? Further , anything that takes you away from your spouse and God , has become an idol . Your relationships will suffer .
4 . Emotional Neglect . Your spouse ’ s emotional needs are not being met . You simply have “ checked out ” of the marriage . There is a chasm between the two of you , and your marriage is more of a roommate scenario . Emotional neglect is when one person just simply isn ’ t available to be a support , or when the emotional connection is onesided .
5 . Over-Stressed . Stress divides a marriage- especially large stressors . It generates irritability , lack of sleep , arguments , and division in a marriage . One spouse finds that they are continually engaging in arguments over little things , and they are critical of their spouse . The other spouse , in turn , begins to withdraw .
While often the person that is being neglectful is often unaware of their behavior , the unspoken cues speak loudly in the one being neglected . When you are neglected , or your spouse is no longer engaged , you tend to suffer from feelings of loneliness , helplessness , desperation , frustration , anger , bitterness , and emotional pain . Many people report feeling rejected , as if they aren ’ t good enough , or are failing at living up to their spouse ’ s standards in some way . It is the adage that if they loved me , they would spend time with me- they would care . When we are neglectful of our spouse , we are silently telling them that they don ’ t matter in our lives- which most times is not the reality .
Spouses experiencing neglect can go through several emotions . The first one is usually deep emotional pain and frustration . You feel upset and irritated that your spouse isn ’ t following through on promises , that you aren ’ t a priority , or that something is always getting in the way of spending time together .
You protest at first- trying to make your voice heard that you are feeling neglected . You begin as reasonably objecting to time spent apart or a lack of attention / affection . Then , you become impatient as the behavior tends to become a pattern . The protests become louder- angrier- as you fight for a place in their heart that rightfully belongs to you .
As they continue to disengage you fight back tears of rejection , and try to stop the pain . You feel that communication is futile- it ’ s just explained away or ignoredand begin to withdraw . Anger turns to bitterness , and your heart hardens .
This is when Satan steps inwhen you are vulnerable . This is when affairs happen , because there are many people that prey on the vulnerable . There are also many people who are vulnerable and unsatisfied themselves .
So , if neglect is playing a role in your marriage , how can you prevent yourself from falling prey to having an affair ?
For some people , having an affair or divorce seems like a foregone conclusion . Their hearts have hardened so much , they have distanced themselves from both God and their spouse . They are numb to the feelings of their spouse , and when someone else gives them attention , they quickly misguide their emotions to another person .
This isn ’ t an inevitable conclusion , however , and definitely not a road that God wants you to go down . Affairs destroy families probably more than divorces do . In a divorce , two people just separate themselves citing that they just couldn ’ t make it work for one reason or another . In an affair , there is mistrust . The person has broken the marriage covenant by introducing a third person .