He was the most funny, heartbreaking, handsome, and strong man in the world; my original Father God.
I cried until I was relaxed, breathing deeply, and the sea had taken all the day's grief from me.
I climbed onto my knees, blind from tears, and long strands of wild, windblown, hair, like mermaid seaweed, wrapped around my head. I wiped my eyes and arched my back; offered my heart to the sea, a path for the wind to carry it all away.
Ready to move forward, I straightened myself up, got grounded, and looked down the beach to find my friend. Catching sight of her I extended my leg to take the first step forward, but my eyes were drawn to the hot sand below. At the foot of me was a deep, blue-black, heart-shaped-stone, more perfect than any heart-shaped-stone I've ever discovered.
Thank you, Dad.
Journeyed alone down the beach, found another heart stone and handed it to my friend. Gratitude for her support.
Keep going, I'll find one for each of my three sisters. And I did - one, then another, then another, discovered along the shore. No pockets on the beach that day! My arms overflowed with heart stones, my tank top filled with heart stones for each of my sisters.
Beside crashing waves and salty breeze, dune grasses dancing in wind, birds darting, hot stones under my feet, sea creatures, and invisible hands of love energy guiding my feet, supporting my whole family, I traveled on a healing quest in an enchanted, seaside story.
At the end of the long journey, I spotted my friend far away from me. Energy of creation surrounded her. She was walking here and there, bending to pick things up. Something was being born from her. Reaching her, she handed me a beautiful cross she made of driftwood and dune grasses. In the center, woven solidly into place, was the heart stone I gave her, returned, as a gift, to me.
On the way off the beach, I stopped at the memorial mandala I had created for my father. I placed the cross, with its heart, at the head of it. Inside the loving arms of the circle of stones, I placed the four heart-shaped stones I'd found along the way - one for each of my father's daughters - Melissa, Kim, Kristen, Kelly. We are forever connected by spirit to our Father, and to all our ancestors, and to all of the children of our children of our children, known and unknown, our spirits dancing freely together where time and distance carry no weight.
From my Mother I learned to trust my intuition. From my father I learned to read every sign I saw so I would never get lost. Because of these two, truly remarkable instructions from my parents, trusting my sense of direction is carved into the bones of my deepest soul. To the outside world my choices may not always make sense, but inside me is a powerful navigator whom I trust without fail.
Dad, because of you, I've read every sign along the roadsides I travel. Because of Mom, and you, I've read every sign that life, and spirit, have given me, and even in the darkest times, I have never, truly, been lost.
I love you, Missie
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My life has been about learning to dance with both the sacred, and the profane; a sacred journey of weaving dark strands of down-and-dirty, with glowing rays of golden hope. Integrating astrological counseling, bodywork, ritual, earth-centered spirituality, and creativity into my current training as a Social Worker, I hope to be a Woman Bridge that spans across the boundaries between Us and Them.