I try to share myself as wholeheartedly as I can with the people in my life. I’m very open about my life and my experiences – but not in that creepy, over-sharing, way! – not only with my friends and family, but on my blog and in my podcast.
So, how do you find your best self – the self you were destined to be? I wish I could tell you that there were five easy steps, or six simple questions to answer. It’s not quite that easy. Mostly, for me, it was a matter of looking at when I’m happiest and digging deep to see what the touchstone in that moment was, what the common elements between those moments were.
I spent a lot of time journaling about my happiness. I had bits and pieces of the puzzle, but it all came together for me when I worked through The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. Previously, I had been concentrating on my inhabiting my values, but that didn’t really resonate with me. I had a difficult time naming my values. It felt like an empty, academic exercise for me.
In The Desire Map, LaPorte advocates getting down to what she calls your Core Desired Feelings, and then trying to bring those feelings into your daily life. Eureka! That made so much more sense to me than trying to live by my values. Abraham-Hicks teaches that everything we want to be, do, or have, we want for the feelings we think it will bring us. Emotions are how we actually experience our lives and the world around us, so it makes perfect sense to zero in how I most want to feel and then to do whatever it takes to bring those feelings into my life as often as I can.
If you’ve tried values clarification exercises and they didn’t appeal to you, or if you’re really in touch with your emotions, The Desire Map might be a good place to start this journey toward being your best self.
Another place to start is to look at people you admire and what you admire about them. Chances are that those are traits just waiting to be developed within you.
Think about the times that you are happiest or most at peace. What are you doing in those moments? Who are you with? There are probably clues to your best self in those moments.
However you might choose to go about getting in touch with – and then developing – your best self, I encourage you to do the work. It might not always be easy, but it will always be worth the effort.
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is a Personal Empowerment Coach who works with women to help them navigate the journey of developing meaning and purposeful lives. She blogs and hosts a weekly podcast, Your Amazing Life. She lives in Southern California with her supportive, encouraging and loving husband, and their three cats.
Creative Seeds
CIndy Jones Lantier