College Connection Winter 2016 | Page 3

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PROFESSIONALISM

continued from previous page Learning how to roll with resistance is vital : a bloody-minded response to a bloody-minded stance calcifies obstinacy . An effective motivational approach supports the other ’ s self-efficacy in finding ways to make change . Here are some tips that can provide structure to difficult conversations :
• Plan and rehearse your conversation .
• Choose a private place .
• Engage using empathy ( e . g ., “ I imagine you found yourself in a difficult position …”).
• Seek to understand and support the other person ’ s goals .
• Use open-ended questions ( e . g ., “ Tell me more about that ”)
• Focus on accepted facts and behavioural observations ( e . g ., “ I ’ d like to discuss an incident that arose in the OR last week ” rather than , “ How can you have been so thoughtless ?”).
• Monitor your emotional reactions , biases .
• Clarify expectations and preferred outcomes objectively .
• Clarify relevant consequences .
• Support positive behavioural choices and outcomes .
• And watch out for conversation stoppers :
• “ You always …” ( exaggerated over- statement )
• “ You never …” ( exaggerated under- statement )
• “ Don ’ t take this personally , but …” ( it is personal )
• “ With all due respect …” ( it is not respectful )
• “ I shouldn ’ t have to tell you this , but ...” ( inappropriate assumptions )
Receiving Feedback
Just as giving feedback requires skill , so does receiving it . If the feedback rings true , acceptance is appropriate . If you ’ re not sure , then offer a thoughtful response , perhaps “ You ’ ve given me something to consider . Thank you for that .” And if you just can ’ t accept the feedback as valid , then a civil response might be , “ I appreciate that ’ s how you see things , but that just doesn ’ t make sense to me .” Counterattack will quash any
hope of useful dialogue , blocking positive outcomes and the promotion of respectful workplace relationships .
Body Language
In any civilized culture there are rules that guide comportment in the company of others . By age 16 , George Washington , the first American president , had collected 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation . Rule number 12 states : “ Shake not the head , feet , or legs ; roll not the eyes ; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other ; wry not the mouth ; and bedew no mans face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak .”
Clearly , the important messages of nonverbal communication have long been known . Eye contact , facial expression and body positioning all require conscious attention to facilitate effective communication . Smile a little when appropriate ; adjust your expression and posture to demonstrate concern about what is being said ; unfold your arms into a more relaxed posture ; and George Washington reminds us to sit back and give our colleague enough physical space to feel comfortable .
When The Situation Is Urgent
The pressure of an emergency is not a rudeness rationale . The ABCs of communication in urgent situations ( Awareness , Breathe , Communicate Civilly ) were described in the last “ Fundamentals ” article ( Be Aware ). Here are some suggestions to enhance effective communication in the heat of the moment :
• Speak in a firm , but unhurried manner .
• Be clear and concise in your directions and words .
• Use sufficient volume to be heard .
• Repeat yourself , if necessary .
• Choose a tone that conveys a sense of support .
• Explain emotions rationally and sedately .
• Avoid using profanity .
• Never embarrass , humiliate or belittle
anyone — ever — regardless of their role and status .
• Be sure team members have received your directions .
• Be open to expressions of concern from any co-worker .
• Debrief kindly with others after the event . Communication In The Digital Age
Electronic communication and social media have changed professional communication . They offer many benefits , but also pitfalls that open the door on incivility . Our thinking and communication practices need to evolve along with the digital revolution to preserve personal and professional integrity and highquality relationships in the workplace .
Here are some thoughts about maintaining civility in electronic and online communication :
• Separate professional and personal communications .
• Use face-to-face communication to resolve conflict .
• All comments posted online are public .
• Be respectful of social media policy .
• Digital communication never goes away .
• It is our ethical obligation not to impugn the reputation of colleagues .
Our professional goal is to heal whenever possible and to comfort always . We are honoured to work and connect closely with others on this mutual mission . Civility is the vehicle we need to deliver our skill , knowledge and compassion to others .
Effective communication is at the heart of a caring and civilized profession . Choose civility .
Dr . Michael Kaufmann is Medical Director of the OMA Physician Health Program and Physician Workplace Support Program . At a recent Council meeting , Dr . Kaufmann delivered a presentation on civility and explained the five fundamentals of civility for veterinarians . View the presentation at www . cvo . org / video . Watch College Connection for the complete series of articles on civility .
Winter 2016 / 3