Coffee Shop Goss Banora Point > Kirra Beach - September 2014 | Page 14

FOCUS ON
THE FAMILY
Torn Between Being a Wife
& a Mum

the answers, but here are two points I keep
in mind when I’m in the middle of a wifemum dilemma.
•

Don’t forget to nourish one of the most
primary needs in your children: the
security of a mum and dad who love
each other. Invest in the strength of
your marriage and the support of your
husband, even if it feels like it’s at some
expense to your kids.

•

Realize that you are likely more in tune
with your kids’ needs than your husband
is. Because of this, you may want
to highlight a child’s need that your
husband hasn’t quite recognised. For
example, tonight may not be a good
time for a date because your daughter
just broke up with her boyfriend.

by Dr. Juli Slattery
My diverse roles in family life often
complement each other, but every now and
then I feel like I have to choose between
being a good wife and a good mother. I
experience this internal warring whenever
Mike wants us to go away without the kids.
A romantic getaway enriches
m y
marriage, but it also means
leaving the boys with a
sitter, missing soccer games
and getting behind
on monitoring their
homework. So I ask
myself, What’s more
important... investing
in my kids or in my
marriage?
Almost every married
mum can relate to the
dilemma of whether
to spend time with
the kids or time with
her husband. There’s
an angst that stirs
internally when we
feel like we have to
choose between
those we love.
I

don’t

have

all

When you face the competing needs of
your husband and children, it’s beneficial
to talk to friends or mentors who can
help discern if you are leaning too far
one way or the other. A good friend will
remind you that no one gets it right 100
percent of the time. And you won’t either.
None of us are perfect mums or wives, and
expecting that of yourself isn’t healthy for
you or anyone.
Keep in mind that your internal wifemum conflicts may never fully disappear.
One grandmother I know would love
to turn the spare room into a nursery
for her grandkids, but her husband
has designs for a den. No matter what
stage of family life you’re in, staying
flexible and communicating openly
with your husband will help keep your
relationships in balance.
Prayerfully seek God’s wisdom and
guidance, and remember that His grace is
always bigger than our angst.

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14

www.coffeeshop.goss.com.au > BANORA POINT TO KIRRA > SEPTEMBER 2014