Coffee Shop Goss Banora Point > Kirra Beach - August 2014 | Page 15

her real concern — you remain in the
“head” and we want you to move to
the “heart.”
But what if you listen for the emotions
beneath the words by listening with your
heart? What if you said, “Are you saying
that you feel ignored by the teach­ rs
e
and the other students, that you don’t
matter?” Presto! This time, you’ve “got
it.” You listened beyond your daughter’s
words to her heart, to her real concern.
You’ve tapped into her emotional
message — her fear of being ignored.
A lot of us (especially men) struggle
with this skill. Men tend to think in a
linear way: cut to the chase, get to
the bottom line. We want to solve a
problem and complete a task, not deal
with emotions. We want to figure out
how to “fix it.” Without listening for and
responding to the emotions, however,
all of the problem solving in the world
won