Even so, active listening is a competency that coaches must
work on constantly. We must use all of our bodily senses—
ears, eyes, heart and gut—to fully tune in and actively listen
to what our client is saying and feeling. A powerful way to
get to this place is to imagine yourself as an empty vessel
that is open and ready to be filled by your client’s “stuff.”
You become the safe repository and accept your client’s
information without judgment or assumptions. Once the
vessel is full, your curious and intuitive mind takes over and
is able to pull out relevant pieces of information to present
back to the client for discussion. This is active listening at
the highest level; i.e., Level 3
The Three Levels
of Listening
Level 1: Internal Listening
When you listen at Level 1, you are generally
paying more attention to your own inner
voices. You may hear the words of the other
person, but you’re primarily aware of your
own opinions, stories and judgments.
Example of Level 1 Dialogue:
Are you listening fully with an empty vessel, allowing your
client to fill it up, or is the vessel already filled up with your
stuff, leaving no room for your client?
Client: The new house is a mess. I’ve
got boxes everywhere and a huge
proposal due at work on Friday.
Here are a few simple steps to get to listening actively:
Coach: I went through the same thing
last year.
1. Prepare to listen.
Empty your vessel by getting out of your own head.
Remove distractions by turning off technology and finding
a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Defer
judgment by being aware of beliefs and assumptions that
might prevent you from fully hearing your client.
2. Take in your client’s information.
Absorb and digest your client’s words, tone of voice,
omissions, energy and emotions. Allow it all to enter
your body.
3. Synthesize information received.
Scan all the information brought forth by your client.
Trust your intuitive skills to process and retrieve the
pieces that you know and believe will help her achieve
her goals.
4. Provide engaged feedback.
Active listening is just as described: It’s active. This
means the next step is to engage in conversation with
your client in the form of feedback, reflection, powerful
questioning and paraphrasing around what you heard
her say.
As you no doubt tell your clients from time to time,
you can only master something through mindful and
deliberate practice. For coaches, mastery of active
listening is at the core of the value we bring to the
coaching relationship. By repeatedly calling on the
image of the empty vessel and practicing the four steps
above, hopefully that 30-minute reminder alarm won’t
be so stressful next time.
Level 2: Focused Listening
At Level 2 there is a hard, laser-like focus
from coach to client. While there is a lot of
attention and focus on the client, awareness
of outside surroundings and energy is absent.
Example of Level 2 Dialogue:
Client: The new house is a mess. I’ve
got boxes everywhere and a huge
proposal due at work on Friday.
Coach: How important is it to get
settled at home?
Level 3: Global Listening
This is soft-focus listening that takes in
everything. At Level 3 you are aware of energy
shifts, sadness and lightness between you and
the client. You are aware of the environment
and whatever is going on in the environment.
Example of Level 3 Dialogue:
Client: The new house is a mess. I’ve
got boxes everywhere and a huge
proposal due at work on Friday.
Coach: How important is it to get
settled at home? It seems this is the
most productive you’ve been at work
since you started.
Source: Co-Active Coaching: New Skills for Coaching People
Toward Success in Work and Life, by Laura Whitworth, Karen
Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House and Phillip Sandahl
(2nd ed., Davies-Black, 2007)
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