CHLOE MAGAZINE
Gossip is a social skill
not a character flaw
Frank T. McAndrew
Cornelia H. Dudley
Professor of Psychology,
Knox College
Let’s face it: gossips get a bad rap.
Smugly looking down from a moral high ground
– and secure in the knowledge that we don’t share
their character flaw – we often dismiss those who
are obsessed with the doings of others as shallow.
Indeed, in its rawest form, gossip is a strategy used
by individuals to further their own reputations and
interests at the expense of others. Studies that I
have conducted confirm that gossip can be used in
cruel ways for selfish purposes.
At the same time, how many can walk away from
a juicy story about one of their acquaintances and
keep it to themselves? Surely, each of us has had
firsthand experience with the difficulty of keeping
spectacular news about someone else a secret.
When disparaging gossip, we overlook the fact
that it’s an essential part of what makes the social
world tick; the nasty side of gossip overshadows the more benign ways
in which it functions.
In fact, gossip can actually be thought of not as a character flaw, but as
a highly evolved social skill. Those who can’t do it well often have difficulty maintaining relationships, and can find themselves on the outside
looking in.
As social creatures, we’re hardwired to gossip
Like it or not, we are the descendants of busybodies. Evolutionary
psychologists believe that our preoccupation with the lives of others is a
byproduct of a prehistoric brain.
According to scientists, because our prehistoric ancestors lived in
relatively small groups, they knew one another intimately. In order to
ward off enemies and survive in their harsh natural environment, our
ancestors needed to cooperate with in-group members. But they also
recognized that these same in-group members were their main competitors for mates and limited resources.
Living under such conditions, our ancestors faced a number of adaptive
social problems: who’s reliable and trustworthy? Who’s a cheater? Who
would make the best mate? How can friendships, alliances and family
obligations be balanced?
In this sort of environment, an intense interest in the private dealings
of other people would have certainly been handy – and strongly favored
by natural selection. People who were the best at harnessing their social
intelligence to interpret, predict – and influence – the behavior of others
became more successful than those who were not.
The genes of those individuals were passed along from one generation to
the next.
Avoiding gossip: a one-way ticket to social isolation
Today, good gossipers are influential and popular members of their
social groups.
Sharing secrets is one way people bond, and sharing gossip with another
person is a sign of deep trust: you’re signaling that you believe that the
person will not use this sensitive information against you.
Therefore, someone skillful at gossip will have a good rapport with a
large network of people. At the same time, they’ll be discreetly knowledgeable about what’s going on throughout the group.
On the other hand, someone who is not part of, say, the office gossip
network is an outsider – someone neither trusted nor accepted by the
group. Presenting yourself as a self-righteous soul who refuses to participate in gossip will ultimately end up being nothing more than a ticket
to social isolation.
In the workplace, studies have shown that harmless gossiping with one’s
colleagues can build group cohesiveness and boost morale.
Gossip also helps to socialize newcomers into groups by resolving
ambiguity about group norms and values. In other words, listening to
the judgments that people make about the behavior of others helps the