Visit bit . ly / HTTWbadassery for the audio version of this article + extras
Visit bit . ly / HTTWbadassery for the audio version of this article + extras
09-15-2015 - 5:58am “ I ’ m not this person , it ’ s eating me and all of who I was . It probably has already done so and spit out my skeleton .”
From the moment Samantha suggested I write about my depression , I knew shit was going to get messy . I knew I ’ d have a hard time writing an article that properly articulated this part of me .
So to make this as raw & real as possible , I ’ ll be quoting myself from my journal . I do so in the most open and vulnerable way , so bare with me .
02-06-2015 - 05:43am “ I am so irritated and jumbled . There is so much I want to do . I feel so stuck .”
If you were to read my journal , you ’ d think two different people wrote it . One line will be an expression of crazy thoughts , numb statements , and colorless feelings . The next line will report happenings from the day or things I ’ m looking forward to . It ’ ll switch back and forth with no pattern .
02-09-2015 - 06:28am “ I must make this work because I don ’ t belong here forever . This is not my place .”
I always felt like each day that I worked there a block was taken from the Glady tower until they all fell down into a damn mess .
02-20-2015 - 01:47am “ It ’ s funny that I complain so much about leaving this job over and over . I was even telling [ coworker ’ s name removed ] here at work and we opened our dark chocolates to find a message to me saying , “ You are exactly
where you are supposed to be .” Pretty much a slap in my complaining face to suck it up !”
Note to self : don ’ t take life advice from a chocolate candy wrapper . This is for real , I can ’ t make this shit up . I would complain about shit , feel guilty about complaining and then put myself down for complaining and try to be
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