Badassery Magazine Issue 8 January 2017 | Page 26

“ A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people . We are biologically , cognitively , physically , and spiritually wired to love , to be loved , and to belong . When those needs are not met , we don ’ t function as we were meant to . We break . We fall apart . We numb . We ache . We hurt others . We get sick .” ~ Brené Brown

“ A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people . We are biologically , cognitively , physically , and spiritually wired to love , to be loved , and to belong . When those needs are not met , we don ’ t function as we were meant to . We break . We fall apart . We numb . We ache . We hurt others . We get sick .” ~ Brené Brown

My way of dealing with feeling like I didn ’ t belong was to hide .
As I got older I got used to wearing long sleeves and cardigans in the summer . Big , baggy blouses were my friend . I even added sleeves to my wedding dress because I didn ’ t want anyone to see my secret . I thought if I hid them away , they wouldn ’ t exist . I ’ d just ignore them and no one would notice I have big arms . But , they were still big , even if they were covered up .
Not only did I hide my body with my clothing , I ’ d hide by not participating . I was quiet and withdrawn . I would rather watch than participate in activities with my friends . And , I definitely didn ’ t want to be the center of attention .
I built a wall around me . It was my buffer that protected me from getting hurt . Ironically , the more I guarded myself and withdrew from my friends , the more I longed to be a part of their fun . I was blaming everyone for making me so depressed and hurt . I couldn ’ t see that I was actually doing it to myself .
Little by little , I began to tear down my wall . I began to be brave around people I trusted . I opened myself up and let people get to know me . I went on new adventures and took risks .
I bought a house . I went skinny dipping . I hiked a slot canyon . I started dating . I visited new cities . I met my husband . I started my business . I quit my job .
All of these breakthroughs and I was still worried about my arms .
This year , started out different in many ways . It was the first year I worked from home and spent more time with my 6-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son . I
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