About the Author
of comfort in them . The Hero role can be really fucking comforting . In a whirlwind of uncertainty it gives us an edge of control to balance upon . Creating hard fast plans , tangible shit that keeps us cemented in reality , an a + b + c linear journey that helps us get through our beginning days by keeping one foot in front of the other . Each task completed leading to the next . This balance is precarious babe . Hero lightly …. hero with grace . Don ’ t hero alone ... if this is what you need to center yourself in the beginning ... go , be , do . I know that filling the hero shoes at this point feels like an act of love . A last chance to serve your loved one , to give gratitude , to embed a piece of your heart into the process . It can be . The dark side of the Hero role is becoming the yes person , the go-to person , the one who gives away more pieces of themselves than they have to give . The hero that wakes up one day on the floor with an unrecognizable life , wondering where exactly in this aftermath of grief that their zest and love for life had fallen completely off the face of the planet ( yes I am referring to myself ). If you ’ d like to avoid adding that shitshow to your catalogue of life experiences then I ’ m sending my insights right to you babe . They really do come from love and experience .
Don ’ t be the hero ( see above ). Ask for help + support + hugs Have grace and patience with yourself ( it ’ s a learning curve hon ). Follow the basics ( eat + sleep + fresh air ). Understand the process ( read up on the five stages of grief and what to expect ) Get out and about ( out of your head and out of the house ). Accept offers of food , company , love , helping hands
If you feel the need to keep busy , a totally common go-to behaviour in grief . Be busy in nature . Be busy in the company of dear friends . Be busy with self love
Insights for those supporting
Bring food . Bring tea . Bring silence or laughter . Bring acceptance for the spacey asshole your person / friend / loved one is going to embody for awhile . Bring offers of help + love . It ’ s perfectly acceptable to support your loved one ’ s grief journey by saying “ fuck ... I ’ ve got nothing . Just know that I love you . I ’ m here ”. Honesty really does go a long way and is especially refreshing when you ’ ve been inundated with scripted generic death responses . On that note ... please , please please for the love of everything good refrain from saying “ He / She ” is in a better place ” or “ Everything happens for a reason ” or “ Heaven must have needed another angel ”, etc . Cos if I wasn ’ t already using every last ounce of my energy to keep myself tethered to earth instead of dissipating into the stratosphere , you could have expected a savage throat punch . I know you mean well ... I truly do . Just don ’ t mean well like this . If you have to choose between a statement like this ( cos sometimes we blank and this is all that comes up ) and an awkward silence . Take the awkward ... every time .
I see you . I am sending you a massive amount of love . I promise you will hear the birds sing again . I wish you bravery , a soft heart , and so much fucking grace .. x apple
About the Author
I am Danielle . New kid on the block , mama , former anxiety girl , and giver of mad love . I am obsessed with strong coffee , morning snuggles and radical self love . You ’ ll find me chasing my joy , juggling at least four books at a time and hanging barefoot in the garden . I light up my life path on the daily as an Inner Goddess mentor and inspired creator of bite sized love . Easy to digest tools and courses to inject joy and ease into the radical self love journey so my badass clients can step into their whole truth and rock their most unapologetic lives .
danielleraecoaching . com
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