Attune Magazine January 2013 | Page 74

If you have a notion that everything is a relationship is 50/50 then you are operating under an illusion. No relationship is 50/50. The balance in a normal healthy relationship will shift; sometimes one person has greater needs at a particular time. If it is 80/20 right down the middle all the time and not in your favour, you have another serious issue.

There are many different kinds of love we can experience in life. Most of us are aware of the concept of Platonic love, a peaceful and non-physical relationship that is emotionally fulfilling. Erotic love is based on deep passion, sexual attraction and desire but is not obsessive. Sexual involvement usually occurs very quickly and there is a big focus on the significant other; sharing all and satisfying each other’s needs is important. Most of us have had an encounter with a player, someone who plays at love for sex. People like this go from one partner to another with little idea of the emotional impact they may be having. It is not that they intend to hurt anyone but sex and love are merely diversions for them and part of the way they enjoy life. Some loves are based more on friendship, genuine affection and similar values than passion; these relationships can be the most stable, long term connections. Some relationships develop out of strictly practical matters where both people are looking for financial stability or lineage; perhaps the marriage or union has even been arranged. These types of relationships tend to be very conditional. Some love is like a mania or fever based on a deep yearning for love but this is often fraught with insecurity, doubt and jealousy; these can be very unstable connections. The rarest form of love is altruistic love which is completely unconditional and completely selfless. Empathy is the highest form of love and forgiveness is the final form.