We have all, more than likely anyway, experienced that wonderful initial phase of falling in love. We do fall in love, but we are falling in love with the essence of our beloved whom we do not yet know fully and completely. This phase of love is wonderful; we are “twitter pated” like Bambi and Feline. We have roses in our cheeks, a sparkle in our eyes and a bounce in our step; the butterflies in our stomach are now suddenly flying much lower. We are in the phase of love where we want to be in bed together all the time coming out only occasionally to forage for food; ah if only that stage lasted. Somewhere down the road, reality kicks in. One day you will find yourself wishing that the person that you couldn’t wait to climb all over and have anywhere-anyway sex with, would get up and move from one couch to the other couch just so you know they still can. We may be hitting our sexual peak and they want to pick out an armchair.
Often our intimate relationships will face or come upon obstacles. Obstacles to relationships can create obsessive thinking; this is a serious pitfall and must be navigated and understood. We can end up in a committed relationship before we even have a full understanding of what commitment means to us or we may sadly discover that our idea of commitment and our partner’s idea of commitment are two totally different things. To some people infidelity is a very black and white issue and to others it is a very grey area. I believe a relationship can survive an infidelity. Multiple infidelities are another matter and I am a proponent of cutting your losses and walking away clean. You may expect that commitment means sexual exclusivity but your partner prefers an open relationship. You may think that flirting or overly close friendships with others counts as emotional infidelity, your partner may very well disagree. You may find yourself with a partner who is obsessively jealous and this can be a damaging and potentially dangerous situation.