Copeland ’ s Corner
There was a time when I would kick somebody ’ s ass just for looking at me wrong . There was a time when I would challenge anyone in the bar to a fight for no reason . There was a time I could down a bottle of jim beam 7 nights a week and never have a hangover . There was a time I could pick up the hottest girl in the bar whether I was stoned , drunk , sober , or broke . There was a time I was actually proud to call myself a songwriter and musician . There was a time I could keep up with a set of keys and had no use for a phone . There was a time I had a real life bank account and a drivers license . There was a time when I could drink everyone in the bar under the table and wake up at six o ’ clock in the a . m . and shoot 69 from the tips on any golf course in the world .
Times are different now .
Now , I walk around and mumble under my breath . I vomit a lot . My back hurts all the time . I get hangovers for no reason at all . I don ’ t play golf nearly as well as I used to . My hairline is receding and both my knees are shot . I would get my ass kicked by most everyone in the bar . I despise being a songwriter and I despise other songwriters . So ...
I bitch . I bitch about the singer I ’ m opening for . I bitch about the fucking bartender who can ’ t seem to make me a drink . I bitch about the 25 19 year old girls who are all here to see the singer I ’ m opening for . I bitch about all 8 of his songs about the same chick . I bitch about having to sit through his set just to get paid a hundred fucking dollars while he makes 1500 . I bitch about his merch table . I bitch about his merch guy who won ’ t give me a free fucking t-shirt . I bitch about his tour bus parked out front for a fucking solo acoustic gig . I bitch about the audience who can ’ t find the decency to clap at the ends of any of my songs . I bitch about the two fifty something year old women who told me I ’ m vulgar and that I shouldn ’ t use the “ f ” word on stage while they show as much of their double d fake titties as the law allows . I bitch about my phone that has no service . I bitch about the 3 complimentary drinks I ’ m allotted as I ’ m still waiting to get the first one . I bitch about the sound guy that disappeared with my weed an hour ago . I bitch about everyone that line dances . I bitch about the foursome of 65 year old men that can ’ t seem to notice that there ’ s been a twosome behind them for six holes . I bitch and bitch and bitch to myself .
I don ’ t know why …. but it somehow seems to help . Try it if you want … but please …..
22 | Acoustic Drive
Keep it to yourself .
Scott Copeland