EDUCATION
Parenting in the 21st Century
The Art of Conversation
By Randi Goodman, LMFT
P
arenting in the 21st century
can be very challenging. The world
is moving very rapidly and we
constantly have to keep up with
technological changes. Throughout our
children’s childhood and adolescence we
have to monitor the use of technology.
Children are asking at very young ages to have a cell phone or a
computer. As a marriage and family therapist in Agoura Hills,
parents constantly ask how to get their kids to listen and not be
glued to these devices. As a parent it is your job to monitor what
they are doing and offer other alternatives. It has become too
easy to let our children play games on the computer alone, watch
television shows, or chat on their phone. As parents we are trying
to juggle our own work schedules as well as our child’s school
commitments. But, all said and done, our children are losing the
ability to really communicate and have meaningful discussions.
Since a lot of the languages on the computers or cell phones are
shorthand, children are not developing the language skills to really ask
good questions and socialize.
When my children were little, we
spent a great deal of time reading to
them, watching family movies and
sitting around the dinner table. This
gave us all the opportunity to have
discussions about our day, or issues
that came up in the books or movies.
As parents, we are role models for
our children. If we don’t set good
examples it will be hard to ask them
to stay unplugged. Learning the art of
conversation starts at home. It’s not
about asking questions and waiting
for answers, it’s about true engagement. Conversation is an art and it
takes practice. Practice at the dinner table, in the car, and on
family trips. Spend time together playing boards games, cooking,
and hiking. Make plans and put them on a calendar. This gives
children something to look forward to. Life is busy, but it should
never to be too busy to practice the art of conversation. In the
long run, your family will be more connected and laughter will
fill the house.
***
Randi Goodman, LMFT, works with families, children and
adolescents using a family systems approach. Randi holds an
MA in Clinical Psychology, an MS in Elementary Education,
and a BS in Elementary and Special Education. Her training
as a kindergarten teacher and early childhood specialist gives
her unique perspective when working with her clients. She
uses play therapy and art materials to help kids feel at ease
when discussing their issues. Randi is in Private Practice in
Agoura Hills.
www.calabasaschamber.com
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