sibling rivalry
Balancing a family with a child with special needs
BY LESLIE PERLMUTTER
34
S P E C I A L PA R E N T | 2 0 1 6 E D I T I O N
ize because they may feel more pressure to be successful, and there are a
lot of distractions at home if there is a
child who is hyperactive, demanding
and/or disruptive. The sibling is not
heard or feels he can’t be heard and
holds it all inside.” She stresses that it
is “really important for parents to find
one-on-one time to go out with the
typical child. If necessary, get a sitter
or respite care so that you can focus
on the sibling’s strengths. For example, if a child is in dance, have both
parents go to the recital. Both parents
should go to as many special events as
possible.”
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arents of children with special
needs often express their
concern for and gratitude
toward their typical children,
who are often called upon to exercise
extreme patience and even play the
role of caretaker and protector.
Dr. Joseph Galasso, a licensed
clinical psychologist with the COR
group, which has offices in Closter,
Ridgewood and Cedar Grove, runs a
specific support group for siblings of
children with special needs. Galasso,
who has clinical specialties in the
areas of children, families and
developmental disabilities, feels that
it is “so important to get everyone
involved…There is a whole host of
issues. Some siblings don’t feel heard,
and some feel they don’t get enough
attention. There can be jealousy; when
a child with a disability achieves
something, that achievement is very
celebrated. A typical child may feel
that his accomplishments are not
celebrated as heavily. There can be
resentment and anger. Some of these
are the same issues you see with any
sibling rivalry, but they are more
intense because of the level of the
behaviors and the amount of attention
involved.”
Rachel Swartz, a clinical social
worker, who is also with the COR
group, notes that these siblings
“have a tendency to internalize and
therefore may have a higher rate of
depression and anxiety. They internal-