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1 J.R.R. Tolkien, THE HOBBIT (75th Anniversary ed. 2012).

2 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY (New Line Cinema 2012).

3 RESTATEMENT (SECOND) OF TORTS § 158 (1965).

4 RESTATEMENT (SECOND) OF TORTS § 217 (1965).

FACTUAL BACKGROUND

Hobbits are human-like creatures that are about half the size of a fully-grown man and who enjoy an abundance of food, drink, and merriment.1 By nature, hobbits are creatures of habit that never do anything unexpected, and the Baggins family was particularly well respected because they did not partake in any adventures. One pleasant, albeit fateful morning, Bilbo Baggins was standing in front of his home enjoying a smoke (never mind what he was smoking; this is not about his crimes) when Gandalf the Grey interrupted his enjoyment of his property by inviting Baggins on an adventure. Baggins unequivocally refused the offer, and he retreated inside his home. Spurned, but undeterred, Gandalf approached Baggins’s home and scratched a sign on the door with the spike of his staff before departing. That evening, twelve unwelcome dwarves sporadically arrived at Baggins’s dwelling and forced themselves inside; Gandalf, who had never received Baggins’s permission, had invited each of them into his home. They proceeded to consume all of Baggins’s food and drink, and they damaged his plumbing.2 The dwarves sang, threw all of Baggins’s dishes around his home, and they coerced him into joining their adventure far from his home. By the following morning, the dwarves had all departed, and Baggins was left with no alternative but to follow them. Although hobbits prefer tortes to torts, if Baggins had his day in court, he could make the dwarves and Gandalf pay for their wrongful acts.

THE TORTS (ASSUMING THE SHIRE ADHERES TO AMERICAN JURISPRUDENCE)

Trespass: The Uninvited Guests

“One is subject to liability to another for trespass, irrespective of whether he thereby causes harm to any legally protected interest of the other, if he intentionally (a). Enters land in the possession of the other, or causes a thing or a third person to do so [.]3 The elements of this tort are seemingly obvious, but for the sake of clarity, an “intrusion” is understood as the fact that the possessor’s interest in the exclusive possession of his land has been invaded by the presence of a person without the possessor’s consent. So then, who is liable? Gandalf alone is liable, and here is why: Gandalf commanded the dwarves to enter Baggins’s property for a meeting that the dwarves believed Baggins had sanctioned. By causing the dwarves to enter Baggins’s property without his consent, and by then entering the property himself, Gandalf would be liable for trespass.

Trespass to Chattel: Torts Two Through Four

“Chattel” is not a commonly uttered word in our society, or hobbit society for that matter. A chattel is an item of property other than land. For example, doors, dishes, and furniture all qualify as chattels. A trespass to chattel occurs when someone intentionally dispossess the owner of the property, or intermeddles with a chattel that belongs to another.”4 Dispossession of a chattel occurs by intentionally depriving another of his property by taking physical control over it in a way that strips the owner of all the advantages of possession.