Long Beach Jewish Life March, 2014 | Page 19

Ms. Goldsmith explains, "Because Jews have been relatively successful in this country and elsewhere, there may be a notion that successful people don't have problems. These are poor people's problems, other people's problems, but not us," Ms. Goldsmith continues, "Because we've done relatively well, we invest a fair amount of energy in not looking behind the curtain."

Unfortunately, by not acknowledging the problem, domestic abuse is often passed on within families. Ms. Goldsmith points to this sad reality, "Abuse is inherited from generation to generation. Children 3-4 begin acting out in preschool settings. It gets replicated in teen relationships. And its just as true in straight relationships as it is in gay relationships."

Ms. Goldsmith reminds us that the faces of domestic abuse victims and perpetrators can be the faces of the people whom we know, the people with whom we spend time with every day. She relates the story of an Orthodox Jewish man who took his young daughter to Shabbat services every Saturday morning.

After services, the two would walk home, and the man would proceed to sexually abuse his daughter. This terrifying behavior went on every single week. Ms. Goldsmith met the victim as an adult in the psychiatric unit of a local hospital, still struggling to make sense of what had happened to her.

There are signs, however, that a brighter light is being shone on the problem of domestic violence within the Jewish Community. Organizations like Jewish Women International have made domestic violence prevention a significant part of their mission, even publishing a detailed guide to assist Jewish clergy in dealing with domestic abuse within their Congregation.

And the Washington, D.C. based Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse has made domestic abuse awareness and prevention its primary goal, providing counseling, education and even a toll-free hotline.

(Continued on the next page)

LBJL March 2014 | www.lbjewishlife.com

Ellen Goldsmith, MSW, LCSW