Collapsed Lexicon | Page 12

  12   ABANDONING  HATE   (a  voice  heard)     On  your  Harley  there  is  the  good  wind  and  traffic,   ok,  others  with  racy  steel,  but  envious,  laughable  eyes.   Unless  some  asshole  stops  you,  keep  on  going,  circle   a  wide  arc,  lay  a  little  rubber,  beam  before  the  hot  sun.   Stop  for  a  cold  beer,  maybe  two,  let  the  sweat  dry;  think   of  what  you’ve  known,  what  you  haven’t  seen,  here   in  the  liquid,  glaring  St.  Louis  landscape,  city  riven,   nigger  swarms,  nigger  bustling,  nigger  nights  burning   outside  lonely  doors,  nigger  vice,  crazy  nigger  fucks,  crazy.     You  get  beyond;  a  little  woozy  you  sprawl  beneath  an  oak;   you  remember  there  was  no  time,  even  in  the  era  of  love,   that  you  were  truly  welcome  in  your  own  mind,  no  time   when  you  didn’t  crave  gunfire  and  the  smell  of  gunpowder.   Blood  fixated  you,  seduced  you  to  risk,  floated  your  boat,   goaded  your  choice  a  blood-­‐red  Harley,  crackle  and  fume.     Your  sons  knew  all  about  it,  almost  without  the  need  to  say.   Your  sons  took  mental  notes,  dated  empathetic  sweethearts,   married  to  build  coalitions  to  resist  in  the  neighborhood,  more   than  you  had  actually  thought  could  be  done.    Now  your  sons   have  returned  to  your  circle  of  the  wide  arc  with  much  to  be  done.     By  Keith  Moul